strawberry vamp
by Without Me Your Just Awso
Summary: Vamp Ichigo/uke!Grimm Bound for life? 2 sides pitted against each other A love better off left 4dead When temptation calls, can the boys really find what they're looking 4 in the other. Can they atleast make it 2second base b4 fate tares them apart b/c i no Aizen is not having it (My1fic)/implied rape/cussing/ someone may die hopefully Ichi gets lucky winkyface. Ps Drew the cover
1. if ur a vampire im a unicorn

Spelling and grammar aint ma thang . . . just warning you :3

Grimm and Ichigo are now bound for life. What happens when Grimmjow isn't all he says he is, can a vampire Ichi keep them together or will Aizen break them up?

* * *

Grimmjow's Point of ViewxX

I shot up in bed, teal eyes scanning the room. Completely unaware of my new surroundings and as soon as I did I cursed myself for doing it. My head spun like a top and my whole body ached. Grabbing at the air, I try to find the side of the mattress to grab a hold of - to keep the room from moving. (I felt worse then i did afterwaking up from any one of Noritora's "little" parties, and i always left completely smashed - thats saying something.) But I missed what ever it was i was talking about and fell face first to the floor. And to my luck, my legs got caught up in the bedding. So with one arm balancing my torso half-hazardly in the air I wrangled with the sheets for some kind of freedom. . . This was clearly not. my. day.

"You shouldn't push yourself like that", the whisper slide across my back. My hand froze, the sweat on the back of my neck froze. I mean i was a fricking popsicle. The voice took a step forward from the shadows of the dim room to revile a young man dress cladly in jeans and a lose fitting t-shirt. Orange hair silohuetting brown eyes. Maybe he seemed tall for his age but he was still just a teenager at best. Just a baby.

"Kuroaski, Ichigo." he mumbled awkwardly but nothing that seemed out of the ordinary.

"Grimmjow." I threw it out like it was nothing but as soon as the the words passed through my lips a strange, calm sensation flooded my body,... and all i could think was - calm!? _He could be a murderer for all I know!_ And all I can think of is being calm? Why_ the f- am I so calm?_

The kid walks over, lays a soft hand on my arm and pulls me back onto the bed - like _no big deal_. And if he was going to kill me, I guess he would have done it then an there. Not to mention i dont see a weapon. But more importantly - no man alive can take me, which leaves one other option, rape. I pulled back quickly so as to create some space between us, tucking my legs underneath my body to prevent any more "accidents" with the sheets. I was prepared - prepared of course, to punch him in the face and get the F*** out of there! But he took a seat next to me like mama Gin; just wait till he's in arms reach and BAM, right in his kisser!

"I'm a vampire", ...it took me a minute to register that . . . ok new options, he could be a mental case - that's also an option.

"And here I was afraid you were going to molest me or something! Well if that's it, do you have a mermaid sister that's single?" my voice dripping with sarcasm, which was my normal tone. But seriously, if he's a vampire I'm a f***ing unicorn. He turns to look at me earnestly, his eyes all. And now I'm thinkin' maybe this chump_ is serious?_

_He can't be i mean its not halloween . . . No one in their right mind thinks their a vampier. Ok . . so he could . . .not. be. in. his. right. state of mind. Whatever that means . . . f*ck. With those new twink Vampier movies out the creepy Vampier cult has totally gone socially expectable!_

he chuckled with this glint in his eye, "Then you're a unicorn.", _the h***?!_

"It's the bond a vampire has with the person they bite." he continues, oh _joy_. "A kind of sacred bond that, from what I know, its like telepathy. It's hard to explain but I don't know how long it will last something changing. It's complicated."

Clearly he's not a well researched vampire but still it doesn't make since to me, "You wanna tell me why I'm so special? I mean, I've got a pretty good idea of what's going on. You're going to stalk me for blood right, or something weird like that? My ora?", He looks away and - bingo - That little blood sucker. He clears his throat, and began to stammer and mumble about this or that... i wasn't paying attention.

"I didn't mean to, it's just that . . . I'm kind of new - I mean at this. I was told, well my teacher told me to find someone, you know, who I could trust, that wouldn't care if I . . .well it's, you know -._ (wut, sucked them dry!?) _But I, I'm sorry, I ran out of time. I couldn't control myself. The next thing I knew-"

He never let his eyes fall from the sad little wall in front of him, and the tension was starting to build up, starting to get to me you know? - real bad. What was there left to say, well now that it's happened let's make the best of it? or, no I totally understand, same thing happened to my Aunt? I did the only logical thing that came to mind, I threw open the window,

"Same time next week?" jumped two stories to a the lawn below, and ran.

* * *

He won't be here; it was just last night so he'd be full right? So there's no reason for him to come. Unless it's not about being full and hungry and more like recharging. I guess... like a phone, you gotta do that sh*t every night. Gah- What am I even talking about? You don't plug vampiers into you friggin' wall like the new iPhone. It was probably just a weird dream. Yeah, a weird dream or maybe I got a hold of some thing.. like crack, yeah that sounds good. LSD, I'm hallucinating. I should just forget. Forget... gonna forget.

* * *

Two days but I guess that doesn't say a lot. You know what? I can't keep f***ing living like this; constantly thinking about it, over and over in my head. I'll just go to work and forget it all happened. That's all I need to do. I just gotta keep tellin' myself it's just a figment of my imagination/hallucination. But . . . will we have to keep this up for the rest of my life? He'll out live me by who knows how long and we already sort of covered that he won't be biting any old f***wad anymore so . . what, will he turn to ache in the sun - i'll take him outside. Maybe he just glitter like in those sh*ty movies? And how often does he have to drink blood exactly? Are we talking once a week, once a month, once a lifetime? If i'm going to put this down on my calendar i'm gonna need to know. Does he have a clutch? Because that could be a problem. Sense that's what Google is now telling me, has become the new fancy word for a group of vampires, a clutch. A hodgepodge, a gaggle -Wait, when did I search Google for this crap? Oh, ok . . maybe he has porphyria. . ahh EW! ew, why Google!? Why must you be so descriptive? MY EYES CAN NOT UNREAD THIS SH*T! D*mn, Screw this, I haven't written a single sentence, man, I haven't even logged into the computer. I'm getting nowhere. I pushed away from the desk in a huff, grabbed my jacket which was slung across the back of my office chair and left. I'd rather just stew at home anyways.

* * *

It's been three days, three f-ing days and counting. Counting! I ran my fingers threw my hair; looking at myself in the mirror with dissatisfaction. Dark circles are starting to appear under my eyes and now I'm beyond sluggish. I've pulled all nighters before but they were with hot chicks, I wasn't alone. This is now haunting me in my dreams. Every where i look. I'm becoming a flippin' paranoid f*ck! Sleeps just too hard to come by - sleep, what is sleep? I'm too tired to even cuss out my own misfortune, sh*t. That night when I'd gotten back there was no mark, no proof that I was bitten but why am I still so fidgety? Like he's going to be around every corner, every turn, waiting for me. But i can't stop. It's really starting to freak me, and I don't know why.

* * *

4 Days - is that considered a week? It's like a short week if you don't have to go in on Fridays. Seriously, this feeling it's starting to suffocate me. All i want is to walk outside and get some fresh air, instead of recycling what's been sealed in here with me. But its already night. The sun went down an hour ago, and I'm not taking chances like that. Not today.

* * *

Day 5: I can feel it, he's coming. I can feel it inside me, this calling. There's no use, if he wants inside, he'll F***ing get inside. I know what I'm dealing with, i've excepted this intertwining fate. So here I am, standing on my back patio like a living breathing offering. The door open, letting the curtains flow out the large oak frame; making the shadows dance in the glow of my kitchen like spirits in the night. Then it hits me, this thick pressure that boars down on me. Sinks threw my skin and wraps around my very core. These thoughts aren't mine. These feelings - they're not mine. I'm reatching out trying to grab a hold of myself but I can't. It's as if I'm just an empty vassal for someone else's soul, and I hate it. It makes me skin crawl.

And then it all goes black.


	2. To the left of the other blobs

Grimmjow's Point of View:

"What the!" my voice dyeing mid-sentence. Birds chirp outside and a warm breeze had begun to fill the room. Red and orange ribbons of light streamed in from half lidded curtains. From the looks of it, it was well into the evening which was just fine by me. I have nothing against being a well rested, handsome b*st**d. Last night though, what happened? My memory seemed hazy like a piece had gone missing. I swiftly kicked of the covers and walked to the threshold of my living room. I could feel it - the answers was still sleeping in the convex and contours of my house.

I can't shake it. Somewhere deep in the back of my sub-contious I can see her. This woman, just sitting there nestled in the back of my mind. Some lady I've never seen before. And then she's walking. She's walking along this little path in a lightly colored sun dress, and her long brown curls dance in the breeze in the breeze a littke. Hazel eyes . . . and she's laughing. It seems like a child's dream it's so innocent. So white. Far too innocent for my likening and I plan to put a stop to immediately. Immediately i say, yet I gently nudged the door open - the f*** - as I sneak around my own house. I peak my head in though the opening. And of course, there he is sitting in a lazy arm chair across from the TV. His chin is propped up by his arm; eyes closed. Just breathing in and out, slow and calm. All of the lights were turned off, accompanied by the dark fabric shades standing at half mast. It was dark but not too dark. Light still made its way in. Still glistened across the floor in an oily gleam which set the whole room in a deep fiery blaze from the setting sun. I tenderly placed a foot in through the doorway, so as to not wake the guy, but the minute my toe nudged aginst the ground - deep brown eyes fluttered open to meet my sharpened gaze.

And the dream withered away . . .

"Sorry did I wake your beauty sleep princess?" I cooed to him in this jeering voice. This is my house, I don't have to be nice.

"Vampire, I don't sleep like you do stupid." His voice seemed flat and warn out like he had told this story one two many times before. I made my way over to the chair just to the right of him. He yawned drowsily. Even in the darkness he looked aged, emotionless... drained. From his face to the tip of his boney fingers he had lost any color he might of had a few nights ago. Seeing him in this condition, like i was looking down at his death bed. Or maybe what I was looking at, was some scene in a hospital out in the middle of no where and I'm seated at the chair next to him as i was watch him deteriorate right before my eyes. I didn't know how to feel. It hits me then. h*ll, he looked that bad from just a couple days without blood. My blood. It makes a guy wonder what he'd look like in a month. My b*tchy nana, that's what.

The seat next to him was only temporary; nevertheless. I couldn't comprehend the thin fibery sensation pulling at my muscles until it was too late. Hook, line and sinker. My body was compelled by this unseen force. It began to move and I lost all regulation of it, - manipulated - I slowly coasted out of my leather recliner that I loved so dearly and across the floor. Finding my place, kneeling in fornt of him, . . . in front of him as if he were some sovereign monarchy or something. Well let me tell you, no one tells Grimmjow Jaggerjaques what to do! NO ONE!

Not to mention, I already have feet to sleep at. I don't want any more.

I cast a look of pure hatred into his crimson eyes, being the soul thing I could still do; loath every inch of his existence. Only to have my resolve crumble so effortlessly in my hands. All my efforts just turned to dust and sifted through my freaking fingers... like the sands of time to mortal men. Humans. Crimson eyes. These crimson eyes, filled to the brim, overflowing with bitter misery. Suffocating despair staring back into my untamed teal, and I felt what it would be like to truly see myself. That's what shook me - those eyes. They were mine. They seemed to show right into a dismal, morbid center that had lost the will to go on. One that was languishing over every crappy decision they'd ever made. Just the essence of it made me sick... I turned away.

There was a short silence that filled the room. And then, just as if it were an everyday action he leaned in to rest his forehead on top mine. Flesh to flesh - He closed his eyes and only after a short pause did he speak again. In a low raspy, almost whisper . .

"I'm sorry . . . it wasn't supposed to turn out, like this." Underneath it all he sounded like he wanted to cry, and after he said what he needed to - with no warning at all - he pulled back; making me flinch. His breath ran along my neck in cloudy gasps and then the sharp pain of his teeth piercing the skin. A pain that quickly spread threw my whole body with jolting electricity and with alacrity it was replaced by a tick, a twinge, a tingle that turned into a weird spasm that shook my whole body. The small discomfort that was left was washed out completely by a feeling of blissful contentment all the way to the base of my spine. Everything was fading; the color seemed to drip from the walls in agony. Everything was laughing and boiling over in tears.

He swiped at the blood dribbling from his chin with a clean sleeve. _M__y_ blood, dripping from _his _chin! He'd better not get _my_ blood all over _my _furniture or I. will. kill. him! I'll cut of his d*mn supply line! Agh. My head pivoted violently and everything was going in and out of vision. The next thing I could tell he was getting ready to make his leave. If that was him, the blob over over there to the left of the other blobs. I don't quite understand it myself but I jumped to my feet. We all know the times where we plan something out in our heads and then it just doesn't work out the same way in real life? This was one of those times. I tried to walk over to him, grab his arm, spin him around, tell him not to go, sh*t like that. Which thinking about it now seems odd, on the grounds that I don't know him. I shouldn't really care if he leaves or not.

But I ended up losing my balance and falling right past him. Then my head hit wood flooring and I was out - cold.

* * *

My ceiling? Bull, I'm somewhere with a ceiling! That came out wrong. No, no I have to get myself together. I just need to keep him from leaving. Sh*t he's leaving. I'm not spending another week freaking out about nothing and everything all at once. This was definitely not nothing. Sadly the cells connected to my brain were turned off, like always...

He was a vampire right? With that logic, he should be anywhere at any given time. So if I just reach out my hand ,he'd just magically be there. Well at the time, that made perfect sense to me. My hand shot out to grab something, anything.

Please don't go . . . not yet.

* * *

All the lights in my room were on. With every passing second they began to pry my eyes. Slowly I rose from the pillow I'd previously been drewling on, droopy eyed and more than a little bit drowsy to look at the world around me. At the sheets. At the curtains. At the wad of fabric currently residing in my bunched up fist. A shirt I think? It's not my shirt. . . . Oh g-d, What have I done? The thought of me sleep walking over to my neighbors and raiding their closets crossed my mind. That was until _he_ walked in.

"So, beauty sleep over princess?" A smirk stretching across his face, from ear to shining ear. How dare he use that on me. A line I had just used on him not only a few hours ago. Then realization stabbed me in the head, this was . . . his shirt. Well that clears one thing up, I guess. I'm actually slightly relieved. It was either that, or he felt it perfectly fine to walk around my house in only a pair of jeans; skinny jeans might I add. Walk around, as if he had just got layed and was in the process of finding his car keys.

"Your still here?" That's what she said, but seriously I have to sound beyond stupid. Wait, why do I caring. I never care.

"Well isn't that what you were thinking of right before you passed out? That you wanted me to stay?" The smile plastered on his face only widened. A strange perverted feeling started to grow in the pit of my stomach, and the grip on his shirt tightened. That A**Hole, thinking disturbed thoughts like that! About me?! For his sake he better not be! Screw him! . . . gah- Not like that though!

"Well, I thought we got off to a wrong start. But if you're going to think like that, maybe I don't want to make amends." I huffed, man I'm pissy today.

"Ok, ok. I was going to stay anyway, with you practically getting a concussion an' all. What was with that, jumping up just to trip on _literally_ nothing. You feel flat on your face? All I gotta say is - smooth." The glint in his eyes told me he knew perfectly well why i had done it. He just wanted me to say it, say that I wanted him to stay, d*ck.

I took a breath. Thought about it, "So do you have a clutch?" and right after saying it, wished I could suck it right back in.

"WhaT?" Even his ears blushed. The expretion being constructed on his face told me everything. I knew he must have changed the word some in that pea brain head of his. I didn't even have to think about the screwed thoughts that swirled around in the pit of my stomach. Clutch not crotch, stupid, idiot, moron. F8ck you. And seriously why would I even ask that everyone has . . I'm going to let this topic go now . . .

I sat up in my bed and he took that as a sign for something or other because he lightly perched beside me on the corner of the matress. I leaned in, trying my best to change the subject, and I thought - hey - invading personal space usualy works.

"Clutch. Google says it's a group of vampires." I raised a sarcastic eyebrow. Forget everything but the fact that I needed to forget, about my being an idiot.

" . . .Really" He says, "What else does Google say?"

"Um . . . you know." My voice faded off. "Normal stuff." _No way I'm going to make him think I went home like a geek and researched anything and everything about vampires I could find to feed my crazy anxiety filled obsession. Ok, yeah - I kind of did, but that's different. After I found out that Chinese vampires where called ch'iang shih which is corpse-hopper (that's not creepy at all) and that they had a really bad sexual drive, of all things, I gave the computer a rest. And by rest I mean i unplugged the d*mn thing from the wall. But really I shouldn't believe all I read on the internet. _

_Still . . . he already thinks that I wanted him "to stay". I don't want him thinking, . . ._

My eyes meet his corky smirk _. . . sh*t is all i can say right now._

"Sexual drive?" He can't just look into my thoughts like that and mock me! And i told him just that-

"You can't just look in to my thoughts!"and with that I swung my feet over the side of the bed and proceeded to my kitchen. He followed after. Pulling open the fridge as he slid onto a bar stool. He placed his elbows on the marble counter top, and began to look around the room. I guess he was intrested in who I was. The way I was wondering who exactly he was. There was just something about him. And i couldn't help but wonder if he felt it.

"So, do you turn to ache in the sun and stuff?" My question came from inside the open fridge, but I did have the decency to stop rummaging between Tupper ware containers and soda bottles to actually hear his reply.

"It doesn't really affect me. So, no." I shut the fridge and took a seat next to him. I handed him back his shirt and took a bite of celery. I'm not usually healthy but I still need to stock up on food so... and eating a bacon and cheese hamburger in front of a guy who was degraded to only drink blood for the rest of his pathetic life, well it just seemed wrong. From there on, we started really talking. I mean really talking. He'd ask a question, I'd ask a question, (_which is what a conversation is . . . Grimmjow, I know_) but we were actually starting to get to know each other.

I learned that he had two little sisters and an insane dad. All of em showed no signs of being vampires at all, which just seemed odd to me. He had three best friends that weren't vampires, Uyru, Chace and Ino-something ... yeah, something like that. Also that this girl Rukia had played this big part in him becoming a vampire and blah blah this guy Renji being thrown into it. But I don't remember what he did at all, so don't ask me. Before I knew it, he was telling me he needed to go.

"... but I'll come back tomorow night if you want." He didn't even need an answer since he really already knew, which was odd for me. I was addicted. This whole night all I could think about was this dork wad and his little group of besties running around town. And that was it. Nothing else. It replaced what would have been there, and because of that... i think I all to quickly clung to his presence in my life. He was like a breath of fresh air. I had almost forgotten what it was like. But I didn't want to think about that.

With that he got up and walked back down the hallway to my room. I stayed at the counter and counted the steps as he left. I got to maybe 12 and then silence filled the house. A cold gust of wind seep onto the floor in a big puddle of ice and I got up to close my now open patio door. Double locked it just to make sure. Later I would find out it takes at least 18 if not 20 steps to get from my kitchen to the patio outside my room - What a night... what a f*cking night.

Man, I need to wake up to reality. Puppy love Grimmjow, get ahold of yourself.

There's no such thing . . . not for you at least.


	3. Strawberry Vamp

Grimmjow's Point of ViewxX

It was an odd feeling, tightening sensation in my stomach. Well no, let me start over. There's nothing odd about feeling hungry it's just today it's different. I woke up craving something sweet but not junk food sweet, no like . . . . Naturally sweet, healthy, low cal food . . . . You know the stuff you'd find in a health nuts house?

I cracked my neck, yanked th covers off, pushed myself out of bed. Hazily ambling to the kitchen. It was like dajavoo, thinking about how I had stood here a couple hours prier with Ichigo. But I digress, pushed the thought out of my mind and went to the pantry. Shifted, half in a daze, through my cereal. I knew I wanted something sweet so of course, you know, I grabbed the lucky charms out from the back shelf and began picking through it the good stuff. Popping only the marsh mellows in my mouth - the rest is card board.

But after 10 rainbow I was like screw this. They were hard to swallow, like I had just eaten and couldn't take another bite. This was absolutely stupid, I'd just woke up and hadn't eaten sense the night before soo. . . .yeah.

I padded over to the refrigerator, maybe that bacon cheese burger . . . and, that was a solid no from my intestines. I practically had a baby barf right then and there. I could not stomach that garbage right now. Clearly I need like an apple or something. I spun around to my fruit dish. Finally something Nell buys me comes in handy. Yet, sadly the fruit dish was empty. Me being the strict carnivore that I am did not fill it . . . ever. So for the past month it had been sitting there collecting dust. I leaned back on the ball of my foot. I seriously needed something; however the point being made was that it was clearly not in my kitchen. What was it?

* * *

I walked in and out of cafés and small restaurants asked to look at their menus but nothing hit me right off the bat so I turned and left them all. I even walked through the fresh air market and gawked at some of the produce. They have giant *ss vegetables there. But I'm not a vegetable kind of guys so I walked on.

My wrist watch starred up at me, 10:45 it had been a whole hour or searching and still nothing. What did I expect though, I went looking without something to look for. I wondered up the street and back down it one last time. Found nothing. Called it a day. Never in my life have I ever stayed out this long to buy something of no unparticular . . . . I don't know what I want ok! I'm very indecisive. Which again is never the norm for me.

An anger crease began to form as I stared at the concrete. Soon my anger would startle it and i get the earth to jump, I could feel it. Then a small dry cough cut me from my daze.

His hand was placed up on the window as if he was looking at something special, and when he drew it away to shake my hand a little fog impression of his finger tips laced the glass frame. I peered passed his palm, passed his fingery impression on the glass and looked down at the sweets clustered in the small bakery display. All of them had a light powder dusting and a little fruity doily to sit on. Boy did I see this guy in a new light.

"You come here often?" I asked nonchalantly completely looking over his out stretched palm. It wasn't that I didn't want to shake his hand, but I wanted to seem cooler looking over it like it was nothing. As if we were close friends and not just 2 hour buddies under horrible circumstances. The thought that maybe if I acted like we were closer then we actually were, it would all just fall into place. This air of friendship you know?

Also I was a little afraid I wouldn't let go. To touch him. To kiss him. To . . I quickly shoved those thoughts in the back of my mind and smiled at him he had a scowl plastered on his delicate face. As he looked down cast into the several little pastries in front of him. To kiss him? Kiss Him? What have I let my thoughts become. Disconcerting. This isn't me. Wait, is it him? If it's him then, but if I am then can feel it and. . . but i can feel it . . . is - I'm confused.

"O sorry I just couldn't get the thought of these mini angel food cakes out of my mind. The stores famous for them and they're best with strawberries. I'm telling you, you haven't lived till you try these."

I looked up at him and for the first time he had a real smile. A genuine smile. Not a sarcastic one or isn't that funny haha but sweet innocent smile. And g-d did I melt. I practically blacked out and it didn't help any when I felt his finger lace in between mine and began to tug me into this little shop. It was like . . . . agh like a mini ecstasy cloud baby ahhhhh it was good stuff.

So I let myself pretend it was ok, just for the time being -

_It was ok . . ._

* * *

Ichigo's Point of ViewxX

I could hear his stomach growl in place of mine and I couldn't help but feel bad forceing my feelings onto him like this. But then again I couldn't really help it.

"Come on I'll buy you some, I think you're really going to enjoy it!" My fingers inadvertently plucked his tan hand from deep with in his pocket. At first I was afraid he would pull away from me, I mean we had only met a week ago. Not to mention most people don't hold hands after the age of six -especially not men - but I sort of felt like he was my responsibility you know? And at the moment his hand felt so warm in mine.

I tugged him into the shop, the door clinked behind us and I pointed to the window and asked for two of their specials. The women smiled and sweetly said it would just be a moment and hurried off to the display while rubbing her flowery hands on a apron tied at her waist. From the corner of my eye I glanced at him and smiled at him, and again; it was cute how out of place he looked.

The murmur of other customer filling in the space behind him.

His teal eyes widened a little as he looked back at me and then around the small shop.

"Would you like strawberries on top of these, Sir?" The petit green eyed cashier giggled and I only nodded as Grimmjow struggled to free his hand from mine. But it was ok, the blush spread across his face, across each cheek and even rapped around to his ears told me enough. And I wasn't about to let go either.

"How do you know I even like strawberries?" He grumbled and I just had to laugh at him. Honestly, the only reason he's here is because of these strawberries. He's hunger for these strawberries. Guess he just hasn't realized what's happening to his body yet, he's so naïve.

I picked up the two plates, nodded to the lady behind the counter, and headed to a table only to be yanked back by my jacket. I turned around, still trying to balance everything on the plate and keep it from slidding off. He had one hand on my fleece jacket and the other off pointing to a table in the corner and of course I obliged. So he didn't want to sit in the middle of a café and eat cake with me. He's still eating cake in a café . . with me. That's a start, right?

He stared down at his plate.

He looked so puzzled. I spooned off some whip cream and a big strawberry. My arm, spoon in hand, went out across the small table toward his mouth. In a loving way, not a "I plan to shove this down your throat" way. Pink dusted his checks. I guess I forgot we were supposed to be friends. The "loving way" still didn't really apply to the situation. But then again, he didn't know me. Maybe I was always like this. Maybe I wasn't and i just wanted to test some boundaries. If it meant seeing that face, g-d, I was going to do it.

"Just say aww~ Your going to like it Grimmjow, trust me."

He was reluctant but he leaned in and took the whole spoon in his mouth.

"THAT'S IT!"he shot up from his seat and I practically threw the silverware I was holding across the room. My heart jumped out of my throat and gaged me.

"Wha?" I yelped and afterwards gasped flustered and discombobulated if that's even a word. I felt stupid - seeing as it was now me who couldn't hold back a blush, but for my defense I couldn't help it. I saw a pink tung dart out and lick away the rest of the white fluff from the corner of his mouth. He smacked his lips and his eyes gleamed with an untold grin.

"I have been needing this all morning Ahn~ so good!" he took another bite full of my cake. "I would sit here all day with you if meant I could eat this~!" And he took another big bite, followed by a low purr and a few unnecessary inhales just to get his point across - the food was orgasmic. W-was . . . was he flirting with me? Or am I just reading too far into this, I-i I barley know the guy.

I blanked out . . . my mind is sooo far in the gutter. I mean wha-HEY! "WHAT THE HECK!" I shoved his fork away and did my best to corral my plate away from him with my arm. "Eat your own! The strawberries are my freaking favorite part! Gah seriously, dude, You Suck!"

"A vampire that like strawberries, you're so weird" He laughed, real low so no one could hear him but me; still trying to pick at my plate. I couldn't help but smirk. His blue eyes looking up questioningly at me.

"Just call me your strawberry vampire", I said tauntingly which was ruined when he shot back blatantly, reminding me that vampire's drink blood and not strawberries. So he was just a flirt, and in no way was his flirtation directed at me. My hopes slightly dashed, I told him he should "At least ask me for my food or there's no way in h*ll i'm going to give it to you!" I taunted, masking my deflated ego.

"Fine then, can I have you're big strawberry please~" He said huskily over the little table separating us and before I knew it I was fork feeding him my F-ing strawberries! But man, was it so worth it. I take it all back, I think he's flirting with me. His teeth would sink into that red fruit at the end of my fork and d*mn, of course they've been sitting in some kind of honey which is now dribbling down his chin. Slidding down his throat and he's taking all his finger and raking them back up, popping them into his mouth to saver ever last drop. I'm just sitting here watching him lick it off, off his lips. Nibbling . . strawberries, g-d I'm so Horney. I was sadly pulled out of my perverted trance as he finished the last spoon full and began to suck on it lovingly.

"Ha ha you're too cute Grimmjow" I chuckled

"Am'ot" He shot back, "you' heads'just full o . . .full o angel fewd cake!" he mumbled between bites of medal spoon and I couldn't help but laugh even more because of it. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm actually glad to have bitten him. I don't know what it is about him but I just, . . I like him.

"Were still on for tonight right?"

"Of course, why wouldn't we be?" he shoved his chair in and tossed the spoon on my plate. "I'll be waiting, Ichigo Kurosaki"

"My strawberry Vampire," I could hear him chuckle as he left the bakery.

and I was ok with that.


	4. Ya i'll take my chances

Just a heads up I cropped this chapter down A LOT. So if you really want to read the beginning which was total filler its just go to my stories and ill have a lil thing for it but for now its outa here!

* * *

Ichigo's Point of ViewxX

"Hey . . . sorry about messing with you earlier."

He slips off the cushion and onto his knees, kneeling between the chair and the nearby glass coffee table. Grimmjow is now shuffling around glass corners and old magaiznes untill he gets to where I am, reclining on his couch, my head using the arm rest as a pillow, my feet proped up on the other side. I can't help but think . . why? He stops in front of me blocking my view of the tv. His hands come up to rest on the couch, the tips just inches away from my arm but instead of doing anything of importance he switching his gaze back over his shoulder at the blaring television screen.

"But about earlier . . ." he fades off, stealing a sideways glance back at me out of the edges of his eyes. I have to admit this is kind of cute. I can tell he's trying his best to get his point across without actually having to say it out loud. Which i'm not going to make him, if he's offering I'd rather not piss him off and be down and out. Gotta get it while the gettin's good, right?

I prop myself up on my elbow and start to lean in towards his neck. My hands are shaking but he doesn't seem notice sense their only hovering over his body; inclosing him. Because, honestly, im not sure if i can touch him. Would that scare him off? Or is it just wierd to ask?

And just for the record I'm moving about the same pace it takes my dad to understand the fact that he needs to shut up and act normal. . . . He still hasn't realized that, but we're working on it. I keep eye contact the whole time. It would kind of suck if he was trying to say something really off topic like, about earlier; what kind of wood was that guy's coffee table made out of and instead I bit him in the throat. But he showed no sign of resisting so I opened my mouth and –

"But you have to kiss me first." _Wait what?_ I pulled back to see a smug grin smear over his face, his lips crest in a smile. So he's still trying to taunt me huh? You should be careful what you ask for Grimmjow, because the next thing I know, our lips were slammed together in a forceful kiss. At first I thought he'd pull away in the first couple seconds and I would be able to go on about my business. Well I was wrong. Very wrong. And it really stopped being a kiss like 5 minutes ago.

We were really just sitting there with our lips connected, and that was about it. It quickly became more of a staring contest than anything else. We held like statues, neither one of us wanting to be the first one to pull away, but we also didn't want to take this "kiss" any further then it had to go and scare the other off. You can't meet a guy and then start sucking face a week later after spending all of 23 hour together, it's against morals. . . my morals, i mean i have to see the guy again! This isn't like a one night fling. I'm contractually bonded to the man for life.

Suddenly my phone blared threw the silence, thankfully ending our horrific lip lock. I flipped open the phone and held it up to my ear while keeping complete eye contact with the teal hottie still kneeling in between my legs.

"Ichi-nee?" It was Uzu.

"Yeah-Hey, what's up?"

"Well I was wondering when you'd be home, Lunch's almost ready."

"Oh I'll . . i'll -um" I had to think about this one. I had spent a night at Grimm's, then the next night hunting him down, then yesterday I was at Urahara's. So, in all, I haven't been home for dinner for awhile actually. Thinking back, Kiskue said if I ate human food enough it wouldn't bother me anymore. Wouldn't help me sustain life in anyway shape or form, but I could still eat it. And not wanting my family to worry about me, "Ya, I'll be home in just a little while so set a place for me at the table, kay?" She said good by I said good by and with that I hung up.

Grimmjow leaned back resting all his weight on the back of his legs. He seemed a little put off by the resent phone call and I rose up off the couch and pulled my coat from the chair it was slung across. Looking back I saw Grimmjow still sitting there in front of the couch watching me leave.

His face said it all, and I couldn't help but think that I should at least have finished what I started.

* * *

Grimmjow's Point of ViewxX

I looked around at the blurry sight in front of me. Dust bunnies were hopping around under my couch where my head currently resided. My stomach growled and I slowly pulled myself out from underneath the piece furniture. I must have crammed myself in there while I was sleeping . . . wait.

When did I go to sleep? I was sitting by Kurosaki and then . . . Well that explains a lot. I picked myself up off the floor and smoothed out my crinkled shirt. Making this work is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

I looked around the deserted room before deciding to . . . wait. This presence, it belongs to . . . It was a blood chilling feeling that was starting to rise up the base of my spine, and I knew it all too well. It was smothering and it crept under my skin. Like bugs, a thousands beetles scuttling around under my flesh and taring it from the fiber muscle below. I hated it. I hated it so much, but more importantly I hate . . .

"So there you are Grimmjow-kun." His voice hit me like a brick wall. I slowly pivoted around, just to come face to face with that sly devilish grin. Those big brown eyes and slick greasy hair; I hated everything about him. Everything down to those little slits he calls eyes. He slowly wretched out and took my hand in his, I hesitate, his touch makes me feel unclean. I wanted to vomit. But what was I to do?

"You've been away for awhile, Grimmjow. Just what have you been up to here . . . without me?" He smiles as his arms snake around my waist and I can't help but snarl at him as he does it. Looking down incredulously his long thin fingers quickly slide under my chin, forcing me to gaze into his stone cold beady eyes.

"You know if you fight, you'll just be making it harder on yourself Grimmjow-kun." -kun sliding out of his mouth like a snake.

"Ya- I'll take my chances. You deranged f*ckwad!" I'd honestly rather die than let him have his way with me. Suddenly he lowers his lips down on mine. He gave off no warmth, he had no feeling. I yank my head back, ready to bash my head against his coconut of a brain. I always knew, from the start, he saw me as something to mess with in his free time. And no where along the lines did I agree to this game of cat and mouse.

I thought at first that this would go the same as it always did. I'd punch him in the face, cuss him out and do my best to run the h*ll away, and in the end he'd always win. Slamming me down on any convenient surface and f*cking me till I cried. After he had mentally raped my mind and sent me _way_ past suicidal he'd leave and I wouldn't see him for another 5 glorious months or so. . . That's what I thought.

He bit down hard into my shoulder, quickly drawing blood. I watched in horrific terror as a red blotch started growing, staining my cotton shirt. The room dimmed and I could feel myself go limp, leaning into him for support. He drew back and I could feel the low rumble in his chest.

It was all nails and teeth from then on, bruising kisses and loud screams. Suddenly there was an absents of fabric, my pants! No, no, NO! This was not happing, this couldn't happen. I pushed away. Trying my best to create some distance, but it only caused the force to constrict around my arms. A kido binding spell, does this guy know the meaning of _too_ far? My strength was leaving me along with my eye sight. I was drowning in the darkness, the sounds of ripping fabric closing in on me.

I searched frantically for some source of light, some sort of exit to this nightmare. My muscles aced and my lungs were caving in on themselves. My body was set on fire and every short breath I could get reminded me that I was so screwed. Drowning in my own sweet, . . . and it stung like a b*tch. Over and over again.

I was so close, to having someone. I thought I could get Kurosaki to come around, that we could be real friends. That maybe I wouldn't be so alone. Someday maybe I could find someone to care about, that loved me. I could just leave all this behind me and forget.

That all came crashing down around me. I had forgotten one key element. I was a dog. A dog that would circle his master's feet for the rest of his life and spend every day for the rest of _that_ life wishing to be free but never getting the chance.


	5. Just call me mom

Grimmjow's Point of ViewXX

"Grimmjow! Grimmjow!?" I woke to some idiot frantically shaking me - as if I didn't hurt enough. Doesn't this guy know you're not supposed to wake a sleeping dog, a sleeping _anything_!? I rub my groggily eyes and wait for the world to come into focus, and what I see when it does is a very panicked strawberry.

"What happened?!" _What happened!?_ What do you think vampire? Can't you tell? I baked some cookies and then made some arts and crafts with frickin glitter glue. What got him all riled up? I looked around the room; the world wasn't coming to an end. So stop yellin' in my ear.

"Grimmjow?" I looked back into his worried face and it hit me. He wasn't half bad looking, actually handsome. His muscles chiseled into that tight black shirt he was wearing. It wasn't body builder; it was natural, it looked healthy, like he was someone who was constantly on their hands and knees. His brown eyes looked big and scared and worried. He seemed young and innocent but old enough to do the down and dirty.

I couldn't help but chuckle as I started losing control over my body, carnal instinct i guess. My hand went up to cup his check.

"Did you miss me?" My throat hurts and it sounds raspy; horse as if I've been screaming. My muscles ace as I lean in, everything hurts. His lips are soft as I kiss him and a smirk spreads across my face to see that stunned look in his eye. My hand starts to snake up his shirt and he shutters making me cease. What am I doing? Wouldn't I just be doing the same thing as _he_ did to _me_?

My hand falls limp on the covers and I can't look at him anymore. It hurts to see him stare at me like that. It hurts the one place Aizen could never hurt me. No matter how much he knocks me around or defiles me, or f*cks with me like this - it never hurt me here. It's a new pain that I'm not used to. . . in my heart.

My forehead presses up against the crook off his neck. Maybe if I pretend to pass out he'll think I was high or something. We can pretend this never happened. It was all to easy to fall back into darkness, and quickly I was asleep.

* * *

Ichicgo's Point of ViewxX

His head leans into my shoulder and his breathing slowly dies down into little whispy breaths. I think he's asleep. Pulling him away to look at his face, his head quickly falls down, hanging there limply which conformed the idea. I lean his bloody body back against the pillows. I get up, finding his first aid and a damp rag. This feeling building up beside me. Something Carnal.

I look over to the sleeping figure on the bed. His shirt ripped to shreds. Scratches placed all along his chest, up his arms, down his torso. Bruises cultured around his neck as if it wasn't bad enough. His lip was slightly bleeding, or maybe it had caked over but it looked as if he'd been crying just a little bit ago. . . . and if I didn't know any better I'd think he'd been beat up but I'm not _that _innocent.

I suddenly became aware that I was staring at him. I couldn't help but stare at him. His chest slowly moving back and forth in his haggard breathing, and my eyebrows nit together in a scowl. It bothered me. It bothered me that he was violated . . . just not by me.

I'm losing it. Just look at him, clearly he'd have _someone_. So he's a masochist, so what? That has nothing to do with me. I can feel my blood starting to boil up. Jealousy wasn't something I had to deal with very often. Which sucks for him because I had to ketch myself a few times before I accidently strangled him in the gauze I was wrapping his forearm with.

* * *

I can feel it Aizen was somewhere in the town, or at the very least in the town just a little ways across the river from us . . . but I could care less at the moment. I'd let Renji take care of it for once.

* * *

I'm already up, sitting on a stool in the kitchen when he wakes up. He saunters in and freezes midway through the door. His eyes look petrified which sends a chill throughout the room. Why so scared Grimm!? Or is there someone you'd like to tell me about f*cker!? G-d like I was being led on, I should have known he's just a flirt.

"Your still here . . . Ah about last night-" his voice faded off and he started to rub the back of his neck. His voice was rough and quite, an almost whisper but it still landed softly on my ears. The way he says it makes me seeing red. Like he was saying to my face; ya, sorry but it ain't gonna happen cause I have someone .. . . and we f*ck . . a lot! – Agh I'm going to kill him.

"I don't care what you do with other people." I spit out, d*mn that didn't sound convincing, not even to me.

"What?" he looks up at me confused, taking a hesitant step forward, closer to me.

"Screw this. I'm not doing this right now." I forcefully push away from the counter, my eyes cast down to the floor. I can't look at him. I know if i look at him I'll just get sucked back in. Everything seems to be moving so fast, i wasn't waiting around to argue. I just wanted to work things out, and look what i ended up doing. I can't even handle standing in the same room with the guy, just thinking he's got someone else. I can't face him like this.

I feel so used.

I feel so stupid. . .

"Wait you don't understand" He quickly walks over to were I'm getting ready to leave, coat in hand and everything. Taking a firm grasp on my arm, he swung me around to face him. G-d I can't face him, not now. His mouth was turned down, his eyes filled with pain but there were no words, no explanation for what had happened - nothing at all. This is stupid we weren't even together, so why does it hurt so much? How could someone steal him away from me if he wasn't even mine?

And i can't explain this to him, this feeling I have. He'd probably think that i was off my fricking rocker, and then things would become sooo f*cking awkward. Worse he'd see me for what i am, that i . . . that i may love him. I don't want to loose the little connection that we do have. d*mn it all. I can feel it, my eyes are starting to sting. I cant belive I'm such a girl. God I wish i was a girl. . . .no. Ok, calm down Ichigo. If you keep this up your just going to start balling. deep breaths.

"Just drop it ok." that wasn't really what I had in mind, not even close to what I wanted to say. These feelings for you. I like you. I like you so much it hurts and I hate that there could ever be someone else - someone else for you. I hate that they got to defile you and I didn't. They got to hold you and I didn't. I want to hold you. I want to be the one to kiss you. . . I want to love. No- I do love you. I love you, Grimmjow Jaggerjaques, I love you. I said none of that. Instead I find myself jerking out of his grasp and storming out of the room with a bitter taste in my mouth. Leaving him standing there gaping; petrified. I don't need this sh*t. I'll go talk to Renji, at least he has my back. See there, I don't need you Grimm! I don't need you! . . . Man, what am I saying?

* * *

"No."

"Think about it."

"Renji how old do you think I am?"

"Well I'm just saying it would kind of stink if he had gotten beatn' up and robbed and you took it for a, um . . ."

"What robber breaks into your house to beat you up and take your pants? Then throw the pants on the ground, not take them, but throw them on the ground and leave? Pretty bad robber if you ask me."

"ok, ok. . . . I can see him getting into bondage anyway."

"Renji!? Really!?"

"You don't see it? The shackles, he could make 'em work."

"Wha? . . . well yeah - Ya he really could."

"Told you."

"I never said, agh just forget it."

The red head took a sip of tea and looked over at the young women sitting beside him with a sly grin. Her big eyes were quickly scanning each page of the fashion weekly magazine set in front of her, much too fast to actually be reading any of it. Her face tented a bright shade of red. She had clearly been listening in on the conversation. But she didn't want us to think she was perverted so she continued flipping through page after page. Not saying much of anything at all.

"Rukia you can join in anytime, Grimmjow - Shackles right?" The man smirked as her face turned beat read continuing to furiously scan each page. He couldn't help but chuckle at her.

And i'd admit, they were cute together.

* * *

Grimmjow's Point of ViewxX

How long is he going to be? I mean seriously, I go through all the trouble to sniff the guy out and it turns out to be his house. Which I'm fine with since I know were his bed room is from the first night we meet. It's just . . .

I look out the window again, no sign of him. Then again he could be coming from the other direction. . . which I can't see . . . Well whatever. I flopped down on his bed to wait. His room seemed plain, just like I remember it I guess. Not like I expected fuzzy rugs and prissy lamps or anything cus if I walked in and that's what I found I'd of left by now. But it smelt like him and I kinda' like it.

I can hear his sisters down stairs. Uzu's probably cooking up dinner and Karin is probably outside playing soccer. I bet his dad is down in the clinic. And . . I'm a stalker. The soft sound of feet bounding up the stairs pulls me out of my thought. I'm too lazy to hide. If it wasn't Kuroaski I'd just lie my way out of it.

The door swung open and what luck - there he was.

"Grimmjow what do you think you're doing here?" I roll over onto my back and look at him upside down, my head hanging off the edge of his mattress.

"I made you dinner of course." I flashed him a thumbs up, which I just realized is a thumbs down to him, d*mn.

"Just shut up and leave." He huffs throwing his bag in the office chair next to his desk. Oh ya, totally, because it's not like I sat here for an hour an a half just for you to tell me to leave. No, no, it doesn't bother me at all. I was just going anyway.

"Sorry but not until you've eatin' something." I'd feel bad if I killed him by starvation. It just seemed like a horrible way to go.

"What are you my parent?" He scowled down at me over from across the room. Come on Ichigo, take the stupid bate already. So we got off to patchy, sh*ty start doesn't. . . . . Why didn't i think of this before! For the love of! I was going about this all the wrong ways, . . . like a normal person. What is wrong with me? I mean last time I checked there wasn' anythin' plain or _normal _about the outstanding Grimmjow Jaggerjaques! An we'll just throw in that I'm half vampire, half warewolf for funnzies, on top of me being a sexy beast and all.

Sigh. Ok so if he's smart he'll just read my mind right? I mean I think he's pretty smart. Not to mention he's been using every chance he get to f*ck with me with this whole telepathy crap but still, even if he doesn't he'll have some knida' connection . . . right? So I just have to think of lovey dovey muck. Then he'll get the jist and we'll be like that. H*lls ya!

It has to look like I'm staring at him, that or at the freakish lion plushy on his desk. I think it's giving me the eye.

Ok never mind that . . . .think . . . .think. . ok. If I were _with _Ichigo what would I do? We'll we'd totaly kiss and f*ck an. . . .and . . . ok I'm not romantic, leave me alone. That got me know where. You know what skrew this. I'm just going to think up words and after awhile hope he get the trend in 'em. F*ck. Kiss. Neck. Cuddle. Fondle. Love. Lust. Lover. Loved one. Touch. Sex. Stroke. Rape. Caress. Love _making_. Intercorse. Sexual relations. . . . Screwing. F*ck if I haven't already said it. F8cking again cus it's awesome. Devotion. Emotion. . .something with an otion. And one last one . . . manhood. Yupp, that sums it up.

". . . " Oh, um- is he waiting for me to answer a question? Did he even ask a question? . . . what . . Are You My Parent! that's what he said ok, I'm back on track now.

"Think of me as mommy Grimmjow, Ichi-_chan._" I couldn't help but smirk at that one. He stomped over and stood in front of me peering down angrily or was it something else. . . His arms crossed. I don't think he realizes that my face is about a foot away from his crotch or he wouldn't be standing there but I digress.

"Fine then _mom_, what's for dinner?" He had positioned his hands on each side of my head and was now towering over me with a sly grin. I really didn't think he was going to keep this creepy role play thing going so I started making the sh*t up as I went.

"Me of course" I smile sweetly

"That's not what a mom, or any normal parent would say."

"Ya well this isn't a normal mother son relationship." I reached up and pulled his head down into a kiss, which amazingly he obliged to. Why did I say mom? Why didn't I say daddy then we could have gone down a completely different role playing path? One with sugar daddies oh geez that's really of topic.

Ours lips meet in a soft kiss that seemed way too short. It wasn't anything deep but it was still something. He pulled back almost hovering above my face.

"Last time I checked you already had someone"

"What!?" I shot up and if he didn't have such great reflects I'd of head butted him in the nose. Well he's a vampire so of course he has a good reaction time. "Since when did I have someone? ANY one!?" I was now sitting on the edge of his bed and strawberry took a seat next to me folding his hands in his lap like a good little Christian girl.

"Grimmjow I was there this morning and last night . . I'm not naïve."

"Nothing happened! You're reading _way_ too far into things-"

"Ya whatever." A sly smirk graceing his feature. He grabs the front of my shirt and pulls me into another kiss. Before I knew it we were fighting for control of the others mouth, and after awhile I _let_ him win. He begins to map the inside of my mouth with his tongue. My hands get free roam over his body and I took the time to . . he-he get acquainted. His hands go up the back of my shirt with expert ease and right before we're about to break apart to pull the d*nm article of clothing over my head.

"Ichi-nee, dinner is ready." We both freeze. His hand began silently pulling the shirt, back down where it belonged.

"We'll- I mean, I'll be down in a minute." we hold our breath till we heard her retreat back down the stairs, and I sat there dumbfounded until the position we're in really has time to sink in.

"Since when am I bottom?" I hissed.

"Since you're the mom" He got up with a sh*t eating grin smeared across his face. Stopping in the doorway "we'll finish this later, K" then disappearing down the steps to dinner.


	6. flashbacks tell a story

ok i no this is gonna be hard to understand but think of this is a bunch of random flash backs in a string ok they can take place in different times, by different people - sometimes only hours apart, some days or several years, forwards backwards . . .ok? Do your best distinguishing then when and the where my little detectives, because this is one sunday ill never get back.

* * *

Ichigo's Point of View

A deep fog hung around all morning and it came with a freezing chill in the air that kept everyone inside all day and deep into the night. It had become just one of those days, the sleepy, cold, rainy, gross days that no one likes. As I sat in my hard desk chair, peering out across the street to the hazy houses that lay hidden in the gray mist outside I started to think. Tomorrow school would start again, and Kiskue would expect my training to start up with it. Not to mention the part time job I had yet to find or for that matter start looking for. High school boys aren't made of money you know.

Which leaves little to no time to understand what I'm doing wrong? F*ck my whole body is tense, I'd zone out thinking about it all and when I came to it felt like I was on the verge of, . . .of . . .WHY IS IT SO D*MN COLD? Ahg, I flung myself onto the bed. I blame Grimm for this suck-ish day, and it's his fault the weather sucks too, that b*st*rd.

Last night when I came back, he was gone. . . .

And now . . . . I'm stuck here at home . . . . alone, joy.

* * *

Ichigo xX

Beep, Beep . . . Beep, beep . . bee-. I shoved the alarm clock off onto the floor with a forceful thud. The room was still dark as night and I couldn't help but roll back over into my bed. Yesterday had been crap, and following it up with school, that was crap too. So I just sunk deeper into the warm sheets F. today, I hereby put it off till tomorrow d*nm*t.

* * *

Narration xXx

I rolled over and glared out the window at the hazy houses across the street. My fist tucked up into my chest as I swore under my breath in the shadows of my room.

"Is Ichi-nee ok? What happened, Karin he seemed so happy a few minutes ago at dinner?" Uzu looked worriedly up the stair to her brothers closed door.

"How should I know, he's just hormonal or something."

"Whatever happened to my sweet innocent little boy?" Isshin whimpered.

"Well, he's gone I'll tell you that!" Karin hissed from across her plate towards her father who sat huddled at the banister of the stairs with her sister.

* * *

Ichigo's Point of ViewxX

It began to rain, and the rain became ice as it lightly beat upon glass windows. Thunder rumbled off in the distance but by then I was already fast asleep, my hand still clinging to the crinkled paper still waded in between my fingers. I didn't even notice the soft shuffle outside my window, or the squeak as the door was pushed open so that a loose ray of light peeked into the darkness and spread its way along the floor. Up to the end of my bed untill it laid softly over the sleeping body nestled in the sheets below.

If only I had been awake . . .

The man smiled and nodded and pulled the door shut behind him in the silence.

* * *

Grimmjow's Point of ViewxX

The curtains bellowed up and created a dark shadow that engulfed the scarlet bed bellow me. Not even the heavy chill from the open window could blow away the thick stench off blood and decay that filled the house - our Den. The full moon hung ominously in the speckled sky outside. It peered in on the small bundle of whimpers and screams that rocked franticly back in forth in between the frozen sheets.

"I don't . . . I didn't wan- . . . Shhh*t" he mumbled hoarsely as his breath caught in his throat. It stung and burned as the thoughts of those curdled screams and forgotten cries flooded back into his blank mind. Numbing him bitterly.

He clung to what was left of the shredded skin clinging helplessly to the sides of his tan body. The rest was open flesh that had dried across his chilled muscles, ripped from his fragile torso. Eaten and spit out. Bruises began to yellow as dull eyes sunk onto the floor. All the muscles in his body screamed as they shivered there nervously but there was no movement to close the curtains. The room was suffocating him and he'd rather die than show one more ounce of weakness to _that_ man.

So he laid there in the silence of the room and cried himself into a dark subconscious.

And somewhere. . . Aizen sat, with a smile and a grin.

Sleep tight little Grimmjow - sleep tight.

* * *

GrimmjowxX

I took the next week to lie around the house and lick my wounds. Stay in my room. Don't look at anyone, don't talk to anyone and most of all don't ever let them see you when your weak. Don't show them your tears because it'll swallow you whole. Your loneliness will be your death and eat you all alive; it's what I have to do, to survive. Go back to being me. It's the safest thing to do . . .

Ichigo . . . well have to wait . . . .

* * *

Narration xXx

The large oak door grated along the wooden floor as it swung open and there in the door way stood a petit woman in perfect proportion to the small tray she held so tenderly in her soft hands. She slipped into the open room with a smile, placing the tray on the bed side table before perching lightly on the end of the bed. Cold eyes fell on the body, they scanned every inch of him as thin fingers ran threw his matted hair. She thought nothing of it as they got caught in last night's activities. Her rosy lips curled up to form a smile as she pulled the clumps of dried blood and sweat from his scalp, ripping small clumps out whole in between her naked fingernails. She giggled soflty as he moaned in pain; her nail scrapping down his chest picking open old wounds from, again, the previous night before. She laughed in the dim light, just to herself.

Tucking a loose curl behind her ear,

"Grimmy you're such a mess, what did you do this time . . . ." _. . . and her smile, the way it curled._

Fear racked his mind as he widely pulled himself from a quiet dream. "F*ck Nel, . . . don't you have anything better to do?" he hissed.

Nel crossed her legs and leaned back into the bed beside him, laying an arm out above his head to recline on - to get a better view with, "What do you think my love?" There was a silence that filled the room. The question lay forgotten. . . .

"I brought you medicine, . . . .just some from Seizel it's. . . . nothing much really, but I thought you could use it anyway." She whispered and her breath came out in chill, a longing sigh as she turned to Grimmjow, bottle in hand. She watched as he feebly strained to push himself up for her. She watched as his muscles shook under his own weight and desperately threatened to slip out from under him at any second. How pathetic he looked. How weak he looked and she hated to see him like this.

"I could kill you . . ." She spoke softly her voice sweet and laced with kindness yet he knew she meant it. Nel moved closer, she crept into his lap and he hissed under the pressure of her body but she didn't stop. She refused to stop. Her hands snaked around his throat and she pressed into his exposed torso. "I could kill you if you wanted . . . put it all to rest." Her lips fell across his, battered and bruised.

" . . . Thanks Nel . . . but-" she quieted him with another kiss, again and again. An array of feathery kisses across he face.

"Just tell me when and I will, you know I'd do anything for you"

"Don't worry Nel, you'll be the one to do it." He whispered gingerly into her ear, and she was calm again.

* * *

More Narration xXx

"Kurosaki-kun, where have you been? We were so worried about you!"

Quickly Berry turned around to face the two girls cheerfully dressed in their gray uniforms. "hm, sorry Inoue I didn't mean to-

"Seriously Ichigo if you make Orihime worry like that again I'll punch your lights out!" cutting him off; Tatsuki playfully or warningly shoved Ichigo closer to her already flustered friend and laughed.

Ichigo stumbled forward from her unexpected outburst. She waited for him to smile at Orihime and ask her what he had missed in the lesson, where he could find Chad and Uyru but silence fell upon the circle. Quickly a hidden question flickered in her eyes as she watched Ichigo straighten himself out and turn back as if nothing had ever happened. Usually he would bite back with some rude remark meant only for her like "guys'd like you more if you weren't so bosy" or . . . something like that. She could practically hear the words echo in her mind and then they would both laugh. Like normal. But things weren't normal - not today.

His moody PMSy state wasn't showing threw for some reason or another and she couldn't help but notice the faraway look still etched to his face as he glanced out the window.

"Thanks . . . ." he said forcing a chuckle before letting his hand slip from her shoulder and back into his pocket. He began to saunter threw the courtyard back to class. His body slipped into the open door way and she turned, exchanging confused looks with her worried friend.

"Don't sweat it Orihime, he's just a grouch cus' he woke up on the wrong side of the bed." . . . hopefully, she whispered for only herself to hear. and the two turnned and started to head to class also.

* * *

Narration xXx

"Wha'daya think you're lookin' at?"

She only stared at the small boy as he jumped up from his seat at the old wooden picnic table that lay discarded on the far end of the many clusters of Burch trees. She blinked, _what a fool_, she thought. "Ya got somethin' da'say, then say it b*tch! Ta my face!" he screeched to where she was perched on the stone wall.

"No." She replied sedately. " . . . .you're really only a weakling aren't you?" Her face was still emotionless as she sat, legs hanging gently large chunks of smooth stone that made up the inner boarder of the old home. For a second she thought he was something of her interest, Aizen's new favorite maybe?, but she was sadly mistaken at best. He was clearly just a nobody. A worthless nobody. Just some little urchin who'd made his way here to die. She leaned back nonchalantly, repositioned herself so as to look the other way as he ran off - back into the woods - back into safety. She wasn't like the others. She took pride in that. Letting the lesser beings live a few more days was a gift from her to the small teal runt below her.

He would die soon anyway; Noritora was out and about like always. Most likely on his way to challenge her right now just like every other afternoon. He'd get rid of such a little pest and he'd be dead for sure. However, when she turned back around he hadn't taken the opportunity she'd given him to flee. He was still positioned below her with a scowl, barbed teeth and a growl.

"How ignorant you are!" She chide him, "Get lost before I really do kill you myself, look at you! You're not fight to fight me, the 3rd!"

"WHO SAYS I AINT? COME DOWN AN FIGHT ME SK*NK, OR I'LL COME UP THERE!" His small fist clamped down on the medal sward at his side, and she wondered if he could even draw it. If he even knew how to use it or what it was. He was so small, the large hunk of medal at his waist only made him look like more of a child than anything.

But still her hand reached out to clasp the weapon laying pro cautiously at her hip.

"How sad, you wont even live to regret this." And she leaped from the wall, sword in hand -

- and yet still emotionless, still calm.

* * *

Ichigo's Point of ViewXx

"Ichigo what do you think you're doing? . . . I mean with a guy like that?" It wasn't harsh; just a simple question but of course what about the underlying meaning they were all trying to get at?

_Do you just not care if people get caught up in the consciences of your own selfish actions, Ichigo?_

_Do you even understand the rules we've laid out for you Ichigo?_

_Do you even have faith that something like that would even - or could even - love you, Ichigo?_

I can hear their voices merge in the distance and their questions only probe my thoughts for some allusive understanding which I can't even begin to come up with. Looking back, deep into my subconscious, in a place where I seldom go - I can see myself shaking. I mean, what if I don't know, why? or because. What if I can't answer with logic and facts like you can? Does that really make my opinions unreasonable or my feelings less real? Really? Right now then, there is nothing that's real to me. Just illogical and unreasonable love.

I could feel his gaze as he for me. Waited as I searched for a response but I couldn't face him. I had nothing to say.

"If this is gonna' be the same conversation as the last three I'll pass Renji." I try to say it with some acknowledgment that I'm listening. That I care, but it comes out flat and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm doing my best to squeeze out some kind of confirmation that I was on his side, to show I was agreeing - at least a little bit. But I won't deny - saying what wants to be heard. It just seems easier to give what's wanted . . . because, well . . . right now I don't know if they can see what this is doing to me. In the end it was a week smile that faded away with mixed emotions, to many for me to even understand myself.

The house had been silent all morning, no one was coming and no one was going. There was no laughter of children as they ran through the front lawn there was not patter of feet up and down the stairs to retrieve items from storage. Everything in Kisuke's home seemed to have receded and disappeared so that all anyone could have caught when passing by that day was the soft murmur of people talking in the back room or the last of the cicadas clinging to the trees outside. No . . by now the cicadas where gone, and winter had set in.

I waited for him to leave, but he made no move to get up. Instead exhaled this exasperated pint up sigh that I could tell he had been holding in for some time now- as if I'd come up short and disappointed him. He continued to sit there in the silence of the room and just sensing his presence was smothering. I felt I had to act tuff, like I had something to prove to him. That was it though. There was nothing else I was willing to do beside sit here and be indecisive like always.

_Why is it always like this?_

My legs were numb by now from all the sitting and my head was still hazy from what seemed like days ago. Their voices echoed in my mind, their words bouncing of the inside of my head. They circle around again and again but they can't seem sink in or grab ahold of anything. My nose began to tingle as I looked to the corners of my eyes in the hopes to hold back any stray tears. It felt the same as when you get punched in the face, that split second when your eyes water and you become afraid that those around you are pulling back to judge you. Not crying, this isn't. Just be angry, or something. Think of something else.

I just want a glass of water, maybe then I could get some air back into my lungs.

Who was I supposed to turn to in this kind of situation? Who am I supposed to trust. . . Idiot. Of course it's the people that have always stuck beside me no matter what, those old friends who I've created this sacred 'bond' with seems to be the right answer. Who am I kidding the only answer. I'd want them to believe me and in return I'd need to believe them and I want to. don't get me wrong I want to. I agree whole heartedly with what their saying but then there's this hint of doubt. Against my better judgement, there's this twinge of doubt.

How can the same mouth that tells me to trust, to make the right choice. how can they tell me to take a life, a life I don't want to take, and just forget things I don't want to forget?

And in my head, I'm trying to get it to make since but nothing seems to make sense anymore does it? Nothing is making sense.

I laughed, my forehead still pressed deep into the palm of my hand to shield my face from Renji. My eyes still down cast so he can't look into my thoughts. My feelings still stuck on the same person they'd been stuck on for days now. "I get it." I utter threw dry lips, "I understand. Next time I see him, I'll kill him is that what I'm supposed to say in this kinda situation?"

"Ichigo, I-"

"Cus that's normal right, us killing them. Them killing us. Everyone dying. Is that really the bet way to end it, killing him?"

Finally I manage to look at him. With a defeated smile that hung across my face I finally managed to find some resolve.

"Because . . . - because I don't think I can say that Renji."


	7. Sultry Behavior

Me: So I know it's been awhile but seriously i didn't think anybody still read this but a couple a days ago my email was all hey somebody was on yo fanfiction so i was like no way mofo's. But seriously it was super hard reading this bros so im sorry bout dat and i think it could have been edited better, worded better like man, yeah. . . but yeah Ichi wana give em the run down of where we left off?

Ichigo: You forget about my flippin' story and come back like what a year later like its no big F-ing deal . . .

Me: I came back didn't I b*tch!?

Ichigo: Yeah whatever, . . . just whatever aight. . . So I came back and that f*ck wad was gone right? And just so were clear leaving a note does not make it ok, thats like not showing up to the wedding and thinking oh its chill i like totes sent her a txt all up on her phone that i b outa town. Lik no. F*ck you with something hard and sand papery. And then a couple days go by and then i come down with something, no biggy. I'm just not feeling up to snuff, so i stay home from school. I still haven't seen any of Grimmjow and honestly after getting ditched like that I don't wana c him. And I'm thinking i went for "this" a little to fast. I mean I like him but he's a d*ck and I literally know nothing about him, except that he's been lying to me. . . . I seriously don't know what to do. Can't I just f*ck him and be done.

Me: Yeah no, thats not how stories go. You gotta drag that sh*t out, but um this is the chapter you go the farthest with him if that makes you feel better. . . kind of. Look at the title Sultry Behavior. dude he all up in yo business!

Ichigo: Yeah just make sure the next chapter doesnt come out 3 years from now.

Me: I make no promises.

Ichigo: . . .

Me. O.o Ok I promise.

* * *

Ichigo's point of viewXx

Honestly, I think I hate him. It almost makes me hate myself for it to. No, no I'm just pissed off at myself. Pissed that i can't get the h*ll over him and make all this crap in my life go away. I feel sick to my stomach and my heads a little warm and I'm just laying here, uncomfortably in my bed. My body burns, the heat seeps down into my mattress which furthers the vicious cycle that is burning me alive. The air in the room is frigid and cold and I'm sweating. I'm freezing and my stomach pulls in all directions.

I try to close my eyes and think of nothing, nothing at all but pitch black darkness as the throbbing in my head is now unbearable. The light from the street stings and somehow makes its way through my closed eyelids.

A scratchy nose from down stairs tares at my ears and I want to scream. I'm so pissed, I feel like sh*t. G-d knows how many ibuprofen I've taken seeing as my dads out on call. The stickin' clinic's locked up. All we have is freaking Ibuprofen. The room creeks, a car passes outside. I want to shoot myself. Every little sound scratches the inside of my brain like little angry claws, like broken pieces of bone that snap and rip in my head. tap. tap.

tap, tap, I roll over in bed.

Tap, tap, tap. "Ichigo? Come on man, I don't got'a lot of time." My eyes shot open, the darkness getting lighter. Frantic to pull myself up in bed. My head ace lost in all the action and my breath clinging to the back of my throat as something inside me wishes it was just my imagination. Begs me to let it be my imagination. Just put the thing to rest so I wont have to lie in the morning. I can't take any more lies, and I doubt Renji will take them. But his voice still somewhere swirling in my chest guides me forward and i can't stop. That voice of his. I'm tearing at the curtains and yanking open the window. The dark night air brushes across my cheeks and . . . and there he is, like it was nothing at all. Leaning inches away from my face as if i wanted him there. I don't want him there.

The night's no longer fresh, and the sky seems dull in the clouds but his scent lingers all around me and i want to yank him in . . . kiss him. I want to ask him where he's been, and why he's back. Ask him, ask him If he's missed me. . . Yank him in and have my way with him, get my fill, suck him dry and lick him all over. Every inch of him. Taste him. Its been so long, i've almost forgotten what it's like. I want to-

I want to . . . beat the sh*t out of him. The stupid b*st*rd. And I can't help but scowl - its so conflicting.

"Ichigo," _he smiles, g-d that smile. _"I knew you were home." he whispers as everything was just normal. Like he hadn't gone missing. Like he hadn't left me that night last week after dinner. As if I'd forgotten that I haven't seen him at all, for the longest time . . to the point it makes my stomach churn and my blood tingle under my skin. As if I didn't hate him. As if i didn't wish . . . gah as if i did hate him! As if I could -

"You know . . " I mumbled, cocked my head up towards the light but the shadow he cast wrapped across my face anyway. Looking up at him from my bed, it was hard to make out his face other then the halo of light that seemed to wrap around his figure. Ironic sense he's no angel. The headache now stumbling back into place. I couldn't say i wondered when it would catch up to me but it was no blearing right into my temple, making it even harder for me to think straight.

"you know . . .Your a complete idiot." _I wanted to rake him over the coals. "_And you what else?" I bit angrily "Kisuke, all of them, they all decided that killing you off would solve all our problems. All _my problems. _Every single last one of them! Yeah just kill you dead and then i can go and just get on with my life. whatever- right? Get another person to leach dry for the rest of their life and then another and another, so on and so forth for forever. Simple as that." I looked over at the wall dryly. I didn't want to see him. Didn't want to look at his face.

"Is that so . . .?" He murmured quietly. His words burning against my ears as he sat there pressed against the shingles of my roof. His arm spilling in through the window so his fingers could graze across my arm lovingly. Just the way he said it, just oh whatever. All nonchalant. Taking it in as if i'd just told him it was going to rain, which was not the reaction I was looking for I can tell you that. I thought we were going somewhere, I mean sure not officially. It's not ever day i fall for the half vamp/warewolf d*ck-wad I find on the side of the road. But last week we were this close to jumping each other! Practically dry humping each other right here where i'm sitting and if that doesn't mean anything in this wold anymore than I just don't know ok? . . . I just don't know. But seriously? What happened to that Grim? Where's that guy?

_Is that so,_ That's no reaction for when someone tells you oh hey, I have to kill you now. So sorry.

O well, _is that so?_

Yeah I thought we were going places. Man what an idiot. It turns out I'd rather just shoot you in the back of the head that's what.

Oh alright, no big deal. Oh alright, _is that so?_ (He's say) Yeah there aren't any feelings I wanted to share with you or anything. No lies i've been keeping from you.

Well that's good because I kind of hate you, so glade we could get that of the way. (I'd reply)

He couldn't even humor me with a, _Would you really kill me Kurosaki_? Not even a would you kill me Kurosaki . . .

I sat there as the temperature dropped. My head's spinning back and forth, my headache practically burns into my scull and theres this cough stuck in my throat that makes me almost need to throw up. I'm seriously contemplating the idea that I'm coming down with something. My body hurts. I can't see well. I just want to go to bed but I can't even do that. But most off all, I can feel his eyes lingering on my body, just watching me. Watching me quietly.

I can hear him breathing slowly and some time passed before his stare slids down my body and then back up to my face where it stayed for sometime actually. We just sat there - me ignoring him, him not saying anything. Him looking at me, me not looking at him.

"What?" I grunt, finally braking the silence to send an angry eye in his direction. Just a little glimpse from the corner but there he was all the same. Motionless in the night, sitting just out of my reach yet somewhere, . . somehow he felt faraway. Out of sight, and i couldn't pull my eyes off him, almost like if i did, the next minute he'd be gone. I hated him for that but i still wanted to let my eyes wander a bit. I never wanted to think of him again yet somewhere I knew . . . i wouldn't mind falling asleep with thoughts of him circling through my mind. The way he smelled, running through my mind. The way he felt. They way he sounded like. All just in my mind, for me to think about and never to act upon.

That way i could leave the real Grimm far, far, away from me and I wouldn't have to deal with this. The, this, right here and now. So I wouldn't have to get hurt.

He finally looked down, and mumbled something to himself. Raked his fingers through his thick hair and looked back at me with these deep blue eyes - his gaze finally falling onto mine. I looked away of course. I looked as far away as I possible could have, to his shadow that fell on the wall across the room.

"Just go . . ." G-d I hated this. I wanted it to be over, and yet something inside me wanted him to stay. I couldn't kill him. I couldn't love him, yet I did. He'd be unfaithful if he wasn't already taken. He'd lie . . . say it was truth. I'd no it wasn't true but I wouldn't say anything about it. He'd leave and not tell me where. Never telling me where he was going or when he'd be back. Honesty - Nothing about that seems appealing to me so . . why is it so hard to say . . . anything? Let alone look at him, i can't say . . . I can't speak.

Which brings me back to being angry because I now I know I hate him. It almost makes me hate myself. No, no I'm just pissed at myself. Pissed that i can't get the h*ll over him and make all of this just go away. I've never really hated myself. I just felt sick to my stomach and my heads a little warm and I'm just laying here, uncomfortably in my bed - that's all it is. My body burns and the heat is still seeping down into the mattress below me. The air is still frigid and cold yet I'm sweating and I'm freezing and my stomach pulls in all directions.

"Just Go!" It hurts to say it because my throat is so tight, but it leaps out anyway. My head is reeling and my whole body jumps as i feel him up against my neck. His lips pressing deeper, more firmly up against me skin. His mouth is cool and it sends a shiver down my spin, but it feels good. It feels soft. It feels tender. And the heat was almost becoming unbearable - to the point i wouldn't have minded him cooling me down, but like h*ll I'd tell him that.

My body burns and the heat is still seeping down into the mattress below me. The air is still frigid and cold yet I'm sweating and I'm freezing and my stomach pulls in all directions.

Another arm came in through the window and i could hear the clink of his belt as it hits up against the outside of my house, clinks up against the thick wooden window ceil. Trailing kisses across my neck, up my jaw and in seconds his mouth was hot against my collar. I could hear the push of fabric as he hips went back and forth up against the window, again and again. I turned my head away. D*mn horny f*ck. Like h*ll I was going to be his playmate.

"Alright, enough." I slid my wrist up against his chest to push him off me but i was to weak. I could only manage to part us a little ways. The air was starting to suffocate me. I couldn't think straight. My breath was coming in shallow. This heat was unbearably hot - to the point that I wanted to rip my clothes off and lay on the floor in hopes that it would cool my slick body. I wanted him to leave me alone. I wanted some relief, a time out. I'd do anything. Anything to make this charing pain in my chest go away - If only for a moment.

And the next thing I knew he was up against me chest, his legs falling in through the window after him. He was rubbing himself up against me, chest against chest, jeans against plaid pajama pants. I could fell my lungs caving in under his weight as he slides even further into my lap and instinctively my legs come up to trap him there. I don't know why, when I want him to leave but they do.

"What happened," his voice, almost a purr, "I thought you were going to kill me, eh?" G-wd he was cocky. And before I could say anything, before I could tell him off, or cry out for help he places his mouth over mine. Hot and wet, our teeth are bashing together as we fumble back and forth. His hands ar up against my neck cradling my face, running through my hair, as out mouths meet - as we kiss. I'm left choking down these feathery moans that are rolling off his tongue from somewhere deep inside his chest. Weakly my hands ghost down his back and i fell him shiver up against me. Its all I can do while still trying to sustain conciseness. My stomach feels queazy - tight. I'm reluctant to let him rock against me like this, but i give in and submit anyway seeing as I wouldn't have been able to restrain him even if I'd wanted to. I'm practically writhing underneath him as he startles my waist desperately trying to satisfy himself and only himself. My little sl*t pops into my head, and to help him out, with my last bit of strength i buck up and partake in some of the fun. He wines, lips still pressed hard against mine, nails digging into my biceps as I melt underneath his body heat. It takes all I have to keep breathing as he rolls his hips into mine again and again. I'm amazed that anyone can satisfy his desires the way things are going. My muscles tremble under frozen skin, overcome by a certain someones sultry behavior.

"And I'm the idiot?" I can feel him hard against my stomach. His laugh bubbles up from deep in his stomach. "And what does that make you mhmm, Ichi?" I can hear the words vibrate seductively against my ear as his fingers rake through my hair once again, yank my head back. The room is spinning as i feel flesh brush up against my lips. And I sink my teeth into tender flesh. Bite down and felt the whimpers that escaped his throat because of it. He shutters in my lap. Trembles under my grasp and i can't help but bite down harder till his back curves up and his little wines fill all the corners of the room. I can taste his heart beat sliding down my throat. Smell the lust wash over his body with every breath he takes. Breathing harder, faster. His chest rising and falling on top of my own wearily, worn out. His pulse starts to race till i think it's about to burst and then it peaks. It slips. It falls. Dipping down as each beat becomes slower and quieter. His body cools dramatically. It feels nice laid out against mine. Soft and relaxed the way it was.

But then there's a soft cry from above me. I let go.

I grab up a chunk of his bright hair in one hand and with care to support his back with the other I stretch out the place I just defiled. Blood still rising to the surface of his supple flesh. Happily, I'm careful to lap up every last bit. Making sure not to waste a drop of him. Once I'm done licking the spot all better and I sit back and hope it bruises by morning.

His tan body, more white in the moon light now. More pale from the activity just done upon it, which also left him weakened and yielding if he hadn't been already. Every part of him laid limp and motionless and you could see the great strain he was taking just to keep breath in him. I kissed him lightly on the head. He was cute.

"Do you want some back?" I ask seductively. I couldn't help but wondering if it was even possible. I stretched out the shoulder he was using as a pillow, let his head drop back listlessly which gave a small glimpse of the whole i'd carved out of his neck. It made me smile, sense i'd made good work of it. His eyebrows knit together in discomfort, but his eyes didn't open. I actually rather liked him half dead. I slid down into my bed again and I pulled him down with me by the waist till his temple was resting alongside my shoulder blade. His eyelashes trembled across my bare skin as if he were dreaming and I wondered if he was. If he was dreaming, if he could dream. And if he could, I wondered what he would dream about. I looked out the window at the street light below - I almost hoped it was me.

Half dead, I thought to myself . . . so I really couldn't kill him.

I guess that really does make me an idiot then, huh? Our an idiot's lover. . .

_Hmm - what does that make me? Well duh, Grimmjow. It makes me the fool that fell helplessly in love with an idiot._

And there's really nothing I can do about that now is there.


	8. Ichigo, seriously?

More once i finish rereading cus honestly I've forgotten a lot . . . i skimmed the last few chapters hope this makes sense. um yolo?

* * *

nock* nock* nock*

The door shook lightly, the pink nuckles that wrapped against it turning paler as their cheeks grew a darker shade of red. "Kurosaki? . . . um Kurosaki it's t-time t-t-to to w-wake up." She mumbled quiet helplessly as Ichigo rolled over in his bed with a groan.

She tried again, "Kuro. . . K-Kurosaki, please wake up! W-we're all waiting down stairs!"

His eye flew open as he leaped from the bed, "I COMPLETELY FORGOT, DON"T COME IN IM GETTING DRESSED RIGHT NOW!" And he ripped his shirt from his body in a frenzy, threw it on the ground, rushed to his dresser drawers in a fanatic painstaking hurry, not remembering which drawers had what. "I am so SO sorry Inoue i completely forgot to set my alarm last night! I'll be down in a minute! Gah what the f-" and he stumbled back, his pajama pants clinging to his bare ankles, barley making it to the mattress. "Just tell them I'll be down in a minute!"

"Oh, o-ok!" She smiled and blinked and went back down the steps quietly. Her face rosy and merry as she tucked a stray curl behind her ear. Ichigo on the other hand was finding, removing the bottom half of his pajama pants to be quite difficult.

"Sh*t." he hissed as he manage to pry his feet from each leg whole with a scowl.

"Could'ja be any more loud there Ichi? Some people still tryin' ta sleep 'er."

* * *

Ichigo's point of viewXx

I just looked back at the bed. At the lump still curled up by the wall. And in all honesty I forgot about Orihime and Rukia. Didn't even know if Renji had decided to come too but he was the farthest thing from my mind. I could care less about finding my pants in the clutter that was my room, or the plans that i'd miss placed for the day's events. Who carried what we were doing, I didn't. What time was it? I didn't know. But i knew that i wasn't alone in my room this time. This time - i didn't wake up alone.

My hand glided across the sheets and i slid further back onto the mattress in a haze. My hand went over his calf and my eyes fell on what i guessed was his back. He tensed and pulled the blanket higher over his head.

I pulled it off.

He clamped his eyes shut and refused to look at me. Fell in on himself, shrinking back against the wall.

I just watched him do it. Couldn't tare my eyes from his face. "Y-you're still here?" I stammered almost out of air. The mark i'd given him had bruised over nicely. I slipped ever closer. Let my palm fall over his neck. "Why are you . . . " I faded out - did I even want to ask? I mean didn't want to know . . .

He rolled over on his back and batted his eyes at me. "Don't you have friends waiting for you?"

"No." His eyes clicked with mine, blue to brown. I tried to find something in them but i couldn't, and I wondered if he had found anything in mine.

"ICHIGO come on!" Renji shouted from the steps. I looked back at the closed door, then back to where he was - sitting up. Sitting up in bed looking back at the door, the nob, most likely the people behind it and down the stairs. The people waiting for me. He smiled. Just a crack, a sweet, innocent, perfect smile before it slipped back into a dry grin.

"No one you say?"

"No one. No one at all." All i saw was him. All i could possibly see was him. His eyes. His mouth. The way has tan skin hugged his body. The way his dark lashes fanned his flesh with every subtle blink he made while his deep blue eyes were looking at me - only at me. Gawd i was so head over heels for him, it wasn't even funny. "No one." I repeated as i leaned in. His head tilted, like a puzzle piece to fit against my own. I could feel his breath splay against my lips. Smelt his scent, sweet as it was as it began to mix with mine once again. Hear his shallow inhale - his low soft exhale. Closer and closer i creeped to him and him to me.

"ICHIGO!" and he jerked back wildly within seconds.

"Yeah NoOne's down there, and he's definitely pissed off your making him wait." He pushed me back. "Go get dressed." It was deflating to say the least, and i'd be pissy with Renji for the rest of the day weather he knew why or not, but i sighed defeatedly.

"IM COMING! DON"T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A BUNCH!" I looked back at Grimm to see if he'd give me one last chance to steal a kiss. I tried to go back in again but he brushed me off. I should have expected that.

"Go on, you have places to be." He slid back into bed with a smile. As if he couldn't have planned it better. I pushed off and started to kick around clothes until i found another pair of pants from days gone by. Found a decent enough shirt, some socks, got one hand on the door knob, the other trying to get a shoe on one of my feet. I looked back at him. He looked at me. We both recognized the other's presence but said nothing. I nodded to him, opened the door. He blankly looked at me and i waited for him to say goodbye but nothing came, and I didn't really assume he would.

"See ya." I mumbled not really looking back.

"Hey." So of course i was pulled back into the door way, like a magnet I couldn't seem to tare myself from him. He was pulling himself back up from the sheets, pulling the pillow in to his lap. His head bobbed back and his lips cracked in to a smile. And i almost smiled too.

"Don't be such a lil prick next time you wake up and i'm not there. I mean we can't all sleep around the clock like you do princess." He grinned that sh*t eating grin, and a frowned. One foot back in the room when -

"Ichigo what the f*ck man, seriously!" I could here Renji taking to the stairs and i frantically had to pull the door shut behind me. Yank the door closed so a certain vampier best-ie didn't find a certain teal werewolf bf in a certain um- MY ROOM. I was on kill duty, not f*ck duty. As if we had even gotten that far - ha. I slammed the door shut as he silently waved goodbye, smugly curling up in my bed, without me. I herded pineapple head back down to the living room and began to cool the gang who had been left to simmer. I'd deal with a certain someone later - if he was even still there later.

* * *

Grimmjow's Point of ViewXx

I watched his little b.f.f.'s as they ambled out the door. Down the street to do whatever it is that they do together. And watching them it made it all the more certain . . . we were from to different worlds. Somehow the line being drown between them was staring to get blurry. I wanted somewhere to be apart of his world if that meant keeping him the h*ll out of mine.

For more reason's then one - keeping him far away from mine. and me. and my pain. My f*cking pain.

Never did i say i was a perfect guy ok. Never did i say i'd be faithful or that id be a shoulder to cry on when your hurt. That when you feel sh*tty or i've hurt you're feelings that i'd cave in like some puss and say i'm sorry. Cus i won't. So don't expect it from me.

I watched as his group faded off down the street, maybe around a corner - I don't know. I flung myself back against the bed. I'd be gone before he got back so i thought - why not sleep awhile? My skin trembles like ice was sliding over my flesh. Once he was finally out of sight I curled up in the sheets till they were a cocoon around me . . . or a coffin sense it brought me no warmth and anyway I could just f*cking die here. I'd be completely ok with that. I'd rather die here actually, rather here than anywhere else. That's how i know for sure i never will - at least not by him. Maybe Ichigo might muster up the strength to do away with me in my sleep . . . but i'd be ok with that. Him, him doing it, that was something different.

My fingers came up to my throat . . . where Ichigo had just draped his own fingers just seconds before. As if his touch was still there somehow or maybe if i closed my eyes i could pretend it was. It was confusing - i wanted him. I tensed up as if i'd died and all my muscles turned to stone because . . . I think I feared it would become something more than that, something more than just carnal wanting. sex. More than a situation i was able to take advantage off, one that could keep my mind busy and maybe divert my sucky life away from other things. Let me forget. I just want to forget.

And i shook even more, knowing . . . it could never have been like that - carnal. Just being with him brought me that much closer to the end. Pulled me into the darkness, and that's when i knew . . i'd run after him even if it meant plunging further into the darkness. It could grab hold of me, pick apart my flesh with fibers of muscle stringing from it's jaws. It could have me whole if it wanted. Break me if it wanted. If only it meant I had a chance to find light in it all.

And that . . . that was the worst of it. For a man who's lived, forever, in the darkness. Slept and ate and breathed - Lives in this f*cking g-d awful darkness. I don't think i could look myself in a mirror if it meant i'd actually see what I was . . what i'd become - a monster.

Somethings are just best kept in the darkness.

What i'm afraid of . . is that I'm one of them.


	9. Its better this way

ok we need to speed things up . . . plot = way to slow

* * *

Grimmjow's Point of ViewXx

He said cut ties, so I cut ties and kissed her cus no one else was. She smelled of sweet perfume and her hair cascaded down in one long sweeping motion across her back side. It was sweet too, smelt like vanilla as it brushed across the bridge of my nose with every move she made. Coming in closer to nuzzle me or kiss me or whisper sweet nothings into my ear. She was warm and soft and I liked the way she felt pressed up against me in the shadows.

"Hey, Nell. . . " My voice seemed small in the corridor and the words got lost in the high ceilings, all to quickly. I leaned in pressing my lips to her ear as if I was afraid she wouldn't hear me - as if no one could ever hear me. I could feel her mouth blush across my neck. "This . . . this is alright?" I murmur in the silence. in the darkness. in the quiet.

She squeezes my arm and holds me closer. "This is best." She whispered back. " . . . this is best."

* * *

Ichigo's Point of ViewXx

"Orihime, you have to be more careful ok?"

"I-it was just a scratch . . . " she whimpers.

"From what a tiger?" I couldn't help but chuckle as i finished wrapping the package of tan gauze around her little porcelain hand. "You just gotta be more careful." I smiled back at her as i tied a knot in the bandages. I'd done good work of it too. Lightly squeezing her other hand on her lap, "You ok? You seem kind of out of it. . . Fight with Tatsuki?"

She looked away unsettlingly and I knew I'd been right.

"No." she said however in a hush. A sedate feathery whisper.

"Hmm?" I smiled back because I knew she just didn't want to tell me about it. I looked up at her but by then she was far away. Staring off into the distance, out the window to some far off land i'd never been. Never hear of. Lost in her own little world.

"Not Tatsuki. . . " the silence swept in, as the conversation became broken remnants of this and that and my smile began to fade. I had no idea what to say. And there was a long time that passed where neither of us said anything.

"I meet someone today . . ." She turned to me with big doe eyes that saw thing as they really where for the first time, and it scared her. "Who told me about you." I watched as her little pink mouth pursed. As she looked into my eyes with a glazed expression, hurt and confused. And i said nothing. What could I say?

". . . it's true. . . I-i mean, he he and you. Y-you're always!" her eyes got all watery and tears breaming up. I tried to lean in, brush them away, but she wouldn't let me.

"but-" she sniffled. "Y-you have to tell me. Y-you'll tell me when y-you're r-ready, ok?" She took ahold of my shirt and i told her it was alright. I wrapped my arms across her shoulders trying to muffle her little sobs because what else was I to do?

"Tell you . . . what Inoue?" I tried to bring her eyes up to mine but i couldn't. She just let her head drop forward listlessly onto my chest. "Orihime?" I was getting worried now, what was going on?

" . . . a-about you . . . being one of them."

"But Inoue you already know that I'm . . . I mean-" Saying vampier seemed silly, and somehow i couldn't bring myself to say it.

"No, Ichigo. I meant . . . about your contract." She took a sharp breath and looked up, "-with him."

_He had told her? . . . but why, and how much?_

* * *

Grimmjow's Point of ViewxX

"You have to get him to drink your blood ok?" G-d she was pathetic. I offered her my hand but she refused it. She'd rather just shake like a leaf on the ground in some alley - fine by me. I plopped down on a crate across from her. "Just listen ok, you take this-" I threw her the amulet that Aizen had given me. Light dance of its red back as it hit the dust and skidding to where she was tucked back between the dumpster and a tired out brick wall.

"You ware that when he bites you, and you'll never have to worry about me again." She glared up at me with this burning hate, but slowly leaned forward and plucked the jewelry from the ground.

"I-i, I'll never trust you." she breathed, teeth bared and her little hand shook with the glistening gem as each little finger wrapped around it.

"You don't have to sweat heart." I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and smiled at her. I hated her. I really hated her. She made me sick, and to go so far as to set her up with . . . it doesn't matter. I hate her.

"You think he'll notice you without it? You think he'll need you every week like he does me? Cus he won't. Think about it. Right now, at this very moment - he needs me. But the only way you'll ever get him, is if you get him to make a contract with you and listen toots - you ain't his first choice." Her eyes where a blaze again and i could tell i was really starting to piss her off.

It felt good.

"No. I won't do it." she hissed from the dirt.

And i jerked back red eyed and enraged "You won't do it?" My eyebrow cocked and i could feel my blood start to boil beneath my skin. I don't offer sh*t like this, real special and all, just for some b*tch to refuse it.

She shook her head, her brown eyes like daggers and I could feel them piercing my chest. "Listen - " I snarled and the way her eyes got big. The way she lost that fire in her so quick and her voice withered in her throat as i took a step towards her. "I ain't askin' you if you wanna do it. I'm saying go. And do it, you got that b*tch?"

This shocked expression surfaced on her clean face and her eyebrows bent down in sharp little lines. She looked away from me and her little mouth was tight. I hated her. Everything about her. She was perfect and yet i couldn't stand being around her. To flawless. To pure. To delicate - that when i got near hear she made me gag. I wanted to soil her, make her cry. Make her scream and know real pain.

But i wasn't going to do that. It took every fiber in my body not to, even though I wanted to so bad by I couldn't. I wouldn't let myself. Something inside me . . . I didn't want him to hate me. Not like this. I wanted him to reject me, to hate me, to loath my every being so I could f*cking hate him just as much as he did me and maybe then it wouldn't hurt so bad. But i couldn't . . . the thought of his face . . . I can't even imagine it. Something inside me is breaking up - and it hurts.

I'd hate her, and I'd hate him. But i'd do it separately. And when they return it I want their hate to be separate to. I want her to hate me because i defiled her boy.

I want him to hate me . . . so i can keep hating him - and every thing else. The way it should be.

"I feel sorry for you, and for him. " her voice began to rise up from the trash and debris she was sitting in. "Because he's such a good person that he'd let you take advantage of him till there was nothing left for him to give." She took a shaky breath, not even turning to look me in he eye as she said it. Her voice like she was on the verge of tears but it cut like a knife - like a b*tch. "And for you . . . for you, because you are a horrible vile person and you will never be able to see what kind of person Ichigo is. His kindness is wasted on you."

I hated her. I hated her so much.

"Your right, I am f*cked up." I barked.

_I just wanted to see her cry. . . I didn't mean to do it._

* * *

Ichigo's Point of ViewxX

His scent still lingered on her, somehow. The image of him always fresh in my mind and something drew me closer to her. My arms felt heavy and weak but somehow she still found her way into them. Batting her dark brown eyes at me, my expression pooling in them as she stared back at me.

* * *

My hand slid up her neck, cupping her check and i ran my thumb across her supple lower lip. Just feeling him there, his essence lingering on her - on Orhimie.

* * *

Grimmjow's Point of ViewxX

I leaned in, my arms snacking up her back. Pulling her closer as she trailed wet open mouth kisses up my neck, pausing at my throat still black from two knights before. The two pronged mark throbbed, aching for someone to tease it and she knew it too well.

"Grimm, so dirty~" She cooed, playfully biting me where she knew i'd been bitten, ravished. The mark of another lover. My body remembering what had been done to it, began to heat up. My heart began to race. My breath hitched in my throat as she laughed seductively, teeth still cocked against my battered flesh.

* * *

Ichigo's point of ViewxX

My teeth scraped along her collar. Her breath hung in the air with anticipation as she clung to me. But i couldn't . . . I lifted my head and kissed her right below the ear. Then again and again down the jaw. Once on each eye. On the temple of her forehead.

Every time my lips fell across her skin it stole her breath away and brought me back for more, repeating, over and over. Her hips resting against mine, shallow breath that mimicked my own, her brest rising and falling pressing up against me in the heat of the moment pushing her gold chain necklace into my chest. Butterfly kisses over every inch of raw skin until there was no place left unscathed.

Her fingers caressed across my chin and my hand went up, fingers intertwining among her own. I brought her hand to my mouth, not a kiss but to be closer. It was some carnal need to be closer. A desire that needed to be fulfilled. A scarlet want i couldn't fulfill.

Red lust like blood.

* * *

Grimmjow's Point of viewxX

She kissed me all over and played into the game of lovers quite nicely. Teasing her hair, letting my hands roam her body but the minute she went for my pants . . I broke the kiss.

"Alright give it back" Her chest was still rubbing up against me. Soft plump lips delicately turned down in a disapproving frown.

"Give what back Grimm?" I took her shoulders in my hand and pried her off me.

"The red fricking medallion that Aizen gave me. I know you took it. And I want it back." I scowled disapprovingly at her. "You had your fun, so give it! Equal pay off right?"

"You're no fun." she huffed and pulled the necklace from some where tucked inside her shirt. "You'd of found it sooner or later, if you'd of looked hard enough." she grinned wildly at me and i yanked it from her grasp.

"You think this is fun."

"Grimm." she pulled me in,

" . . . cus it's not."

"I know babe. But it's better this way." She folded my hands over the stupid piece of jewelry and i bent over and let her hold me again. "Go give it to your human girl, and i'll be here when you get back. Ok?"

"Whatever." and i walked out with amulet in hand leaving her there alone.

* * *

Grimjow's Point of ViewXX

The air was crisp, cold, it kissed my face with an icy chill that froze over the burning hate inside me. That swirling rage that was growing in my heart as it decayed - shared black with hate. The wind whipped my hair around and nipped at my face. I held my legs close to my chest and looked out over the roof tops.

The moon light splayed across all the homes but it gave little light to the world, to the night. I let my head fall back to the left; off to the window - open. It let in the cool night's chill and my wondering eyes that to keenly fell into the bright room.

F*cking b*tch did what i had told her, and she thought she was all high and mighty. To good to play with a human being but look at her go. His hands feel across her back as she leaned into him. I could hear her voice, sweet and gingerly as it whimpered soft nothings to him. Made me sick. I could feel his ambition, his wanting, his desire. My eyes fell on his short cropped hair, bright just like hers. The way it lay nestled softly in the crook of her neck.

I stood up, my shadow stretching over the gab between roof tops yet it didn't make it to the window. It was to weak to fall across the figures tucked away inside. I hated them, an empty bitter hate that gave me no fulfilling. He pulled her closer to the wall and I turned away. I could't bare to watch. I had set it up, that was enough torcher for me. I had seen it play out. My work here was done.

I was done. I was deflated. I was dyeing. I was . . .

I left.

* * *

Ichigo's Point of ViewxX

And i bit her.


	10. This is a new generation

I want to dedicated this chapter to the 10 people who were so sweet and who are willing to follow this. Like seriously you are so fabulous to wait for FOREVER just for me to blabber and you make my little writing dreams come true. I am trying to so hard to yank this thing back on to a plot line right now but i don't actually have cus i wrote myself into a corner. bBut i will do my absolute best to get it out there for you lovely wonderful people. . . . not trying to be creepy or anything. But recognition for actually being good at what i love is kinda like my whole life, no big deal ok enough with the sap.

P. back and edited all the previous chapter before 6 just fyi

Nell's Point of ViewxX

I stood by the window and watched him out in the courtyard below. He'd been out there all morning despite the cold, the off and on mist, and the wind. I'd give anything to be with him. To go out there and warm him. Bring him a blanket and a hand to hold. To sit by him and comfort him with all i had and all i could but i can't - he didn't want me there.

Simply put - he didn't need me.

It makes me wonder if he knows, knows that i've I seen the way his boy looks at that red headed girl. And I know how it feels to see someone look with love to another. I could paint the furrow of his brow when he sees her from memory alone. I beat he believes that _that_ world is a mystery to us. That we've never gone out to that world looking for something; anything to silence the longing. That's why he's so cute, i guess. He thinks the battles are all his own, and because of it, he fights alone.

Hime i think that's what his boy calls her. Little princess. I sat down on the oak chair i had pulled across the hard wood floor so it could sit up by the window ceil. I clutched the shall closer to my chest as the chill seeped in through the glass. I want to make his pain go away because for me, this pain is forever - forever in my heart, forever and always. Yet for him, if i could shield him from this I would. But I can't. Not because of inability or lack of strength but because even if i poured my heart and soul into protecting him, its bridge I can't gap. Yet i still try helplessly.

"You could sit and watch him for hours couldn't you." I didn't have to turn around, I knew who it was. Didn't have the strength for it anyways. It was hard to keep calm. My chest swelled with uncertainty. To bade away the tear even though i wanted to cry was hard enough. I pulled a strand of hair from my eyes and blinked towards the ceiling - beating back watery tears. My mouth was dry like cotton and I could hear the click of his nice dress shoes as they took each step out into the open.

"I told him." I whispered.

"That's good."

" . . . and when will you tell. If his heart is broken, I want his boy broken too." There was a pause and a silence.

"Trust me on this one, Ichigo is not the kind of guy to just take thing sitting down. More of a go getter you know?"

"I don't care."

He cleared his throat, "_It's best this way ok_?" His hand took to his mouth, gently picking at the each dry corner before rubbing his chin in thought. Sequencing it all in his mind, questioning it all and thinking - was this right?, "Wouldn't that defeat the purpose, If Ichigo just swooped in to save the day?"

"So you'll let him have the girl, move on, start a new life, live happily ever after - problem solved. Grimm is out there freezing to death, do you hear me? I don't think he's steeped foot in this house for two whole days! He won't eat. He won't sleep." I stood up and spun around to face him. "He's broken, and you broke him." My breath hitched, "I- . . I broke him." The devilish man just looked at me with half lidded eyes. How dare he have such little apathy to me and my kind.

My eyes narrowed at him and he twirled his thumbs like i wasn't even a threat more a bother than a killer. So little does he know - I'd rip his flesh with my own bare teeth if i had to. I'd kill him dead were he stands if he didn't offer to fix what he's done. "Why are you doing this?" I hissed at him. And he breathed out in a low sigh, one filled with all the time in the world. As if he had nothing to say for himself at all.

My nails dug into the fleshy velvet seat back i'd been sitting in, as I looked at him from across the room. His long leggy figure draped across the footboard. "You need him, you need his boy for the war."

I watched as he swallowed, mulled the words over in his head. To slip up and say something abrasive now would only cost him and he knew that. I knew it. We both knew. "I'd rather there not be a war at all, but yes, you could say that. Wouldn't you say you need Grimmjow-kun too though?"

"I don't care about fighting right now, what I want is for you to make this right."

"Make it right?" he chuckled and i could feel my anger rising to my cheeks in rosy frustration. "I find that had to believe coming from a woman going behind her masters back."

"Does that mean they know your here . . . Shenji." I scoffed, grinning violently at him. Mocking him. It was all i could do to mask the hurt - that i was a traitor to my own kind. In response he growled and gnashed his teeth before he would look at me again.

"Here's the deal, ok. We both know something is inevitably going to happen here, were just sitting ducks waiting around for a spark to catch and then it's all up in flames. For as long as i've been forced to look into that slimy b*st*rds eyes I've never trusted Aizen - but somethings _is_ coming. Don't deny it." he cleared his throat and I stole a glance over my shoulder to the window, it's fogy corners and Grimm; unchanging. But he was right I couldn't deny it. "I don't expect you to just throw yourself in harms way for us or come to our side" he began again, "-the same way i won't hold back the day we meet outside these four walls, and I pray you don't either. All I _am_ saying, is that Kurosaki is not the kind of guy to take things sitting down."

"So Grimm has to suffer? Our side takes the hit? Is that it?"

"That's no what I meant-

"Well That's What's Happened! And you better d*mn well fix it." I barked. He said nothing. It was a first that i've come across - him not having words to throw back in my face so effortlessly - and I took it for an opening. "Your afraid his boy won't fight against him. That he'll die trying to make peace in a war of blood shed and violence." I stole across the room to the bed, clung to the bed post across the way from him. Focusing in on his face that was again at a loss of words . . . because i was right.

"Its because were different."

"You don't think I know that?" Because i new very well how different we were I thought to myself. He was the one who didn't know. The one who thought i was ignorant. Creatures of the night maybe so - but wolves . . . and _their _kind, that is all we'll ever have in common.

"Yet were both just a half of what we say we are. . , you'd think we'd me more understanding . . ." He peered up at me with a sigh.

"Is that why you're doing this?" His expression changed dramatically the minute my words dressed my lips and he leaned in as if for me to continue. . .

"Because your half. . . That your people will abandon you because what runs through your veins; our demon blood."

A warm chuckle crisply stirred the frigid air around us and he rubbed the back of his neck with placidity. "I've already been abandon, if that's what your asking. But unlike them, i'd rather have it that way. You'd rather have it that way. But this is a new generation were talking about. We can't say that they think the same way we do, or that they'd carry out orders the same we would have when we were younger."

His smile was kind, that's what I liked that about him. "Lets just keep them alive for now." and he rose to leave but i called after him. I could tell i was keeping him, but i didn't care. How could he say things like this. A younger generation? As if he had never desired anything he couldn't have? As if what was playing out before us, wasn't just time repeating itself like so many times before! As if to say the first man to die in the battle would be the first live ever lost to the sword.

"And then what? Just for them to be set up, one on one, against each other on the battle field?! Forced to kill each other?! What kind of sick man are you! The grief and the pain you're causing now, What would it be for if we're all going to slit each others throats in the end?"

"You make me out to be some kind of sadistic romantic? Dying at the hands of a lover- that's garbage! You did what you had to. Honestly, do you think Aizen would have cared about his little boyfriend? His little fling!? You think Aizen wouldn't have purposely sent him out to kill Kurosaki if he had known about them? And what in your right mind says he doesn't already know . . . It was just a matter of time before this would have happened eventually all I'm doing is keeping them both alive! Happy?! What are you doing? Ichigo has already been given orders to cut your kid down. I wouldn't expect anything less from your side." All i could give back to him was silence as i hung my head shamefully. Defeated. The truth sneering scornfully at me with a sharpened tung. Jeering me on in my insolent remorse.

"Please . . " I called after him with my last breath hanging helplessly in my throat. Pleading, just this once. I can't do this alone. And again he turned to me. . .

"I'll see what I can do." and then he disappeared into the night.

Grimmjow's Point of ViewxX

This is stupid. I'm losing my mind. I can''t . . . I'm alone. I've been hanging around Ichigo's place on and off for about two week now. Nothing weird - i don't watch him sleep or do weird sh*t with his new found mate or anything. Just, he sits there. He read sometimes and then i leave. Right now he's eating diner like every freaking night now with his family and I just sit back and watch. They pass food and then the blond girl laughs and they biker and life goes on. I do it mostly because I have nothing better to do. Somewhere inside me I think I . . I almost hope Aizen would just show up right here, right now. Right in front of Ichigo's and then he'd know everything.

Maybe I wouldn't feel like I could have change the way it all turned at if I had only fessed up, back when he had asked me too . . . and if they had fought to the death I'd really only have to worry about one of them, right? The other'd be dead.

All the lights are on and his little sister's waving around her chopsticks. Ichigo's back is to me like always. The other dark haired chick is across from him and his dad is next to her so the ends of the table can be left empty. I can't tell what they're eating, what they're talking about. But being close make me feel less lonely. Even if i was with Nell right now, back at my place, or even at the Den i'd feel lonely. I think i've always felt like this, it's just recently i started noticing it.

But i don't care if that's the case. It doesn't matter to me much anyway.

His dad get's up to get more water, and it's cold so I pull my jacket closer, trying to curl up and out of reach from the wind.

And then his dad just looks up - right at me. He just looks straight into my eyes, like he knew I was there. And my heart stops. Kurosaki had said there was nothing, . . no sign of anything from his family but those eyes - they saw me. His dad saw right through me.

And yet somehow i can't look away.

I'm frozen in place because I know even if doesn't see me, which I know he can't. Just some stupid human. Some freak miss hap . . but If i get up to leave he'll see the shadow moving. He'll see the darkness breath, and he'll call it out. Ichigo will turn around and unlike them, unlike the rest of them, he'll know. He'll seem me.

So I sat there frozen like a statue, huddled on the roof of the adjacent house with my breath caught in my chest. It seemed like minutes had to pass. His dad just looking at me. No, no he was looking at the roof, at the darkness, and then Kurosaki notices him staring. He goes to turn around and there's nothing I can do but pull back further into the night and pray. The shame that comes with him turning around, knowing I was there. What a sick f*ck watching him like this. I'm starting to make myself sick, g-d and I used to be the only person I could stand to look at.

His dad ketches his son's shoulder and laughs it off. I still can't hear what they're saying but Ichigo never looks back again, doesn't even try. But his dad does and again he looks at me. It's not coincidence - it isn't fate. He knows. I can tell this time.

I can tell he sees me.

I'm a lier, I'm a thief and that's the way i like it. I hate others because they hate me. I'll never tell the truth because I lost the ability to a long time ago. And besides, it's so hard to turn around now . . . not after i've gotten so good at it. I enjoy painting pictures of my life that aren't real because in that moment i can pretend to be something i'm not. Ware a mask and be someone else.

But how interesting to know, I'm not the only one. . .

. . . Mr. Kurosaki just what are you hiding from your little boy?


	11. What was the point (1)

Nell's Point of View xX

A week passed and Shenji never did come back, and I knew that he wasn't going to. While Grimmjow began to come and go like a far off light bobbing amongst the waves, I worried that not even the oceans current could bring him back to me. I was losing him, and he was lost. The mark his boy had given him had faded and just as quickly a new mark was in its place. And he wore it. And bared it all, for us to see. And we watched it as it festered up his pitiful neck like an infection to a sick man - a dying man.

He never once tried to hide it either.

He had moved on, and left it all behind him in the dark. Now, he only wanted to escape us and our eyes. If only that was an option for him, but it wasn't, it never was. Escape the strings woven so tightly around his heart that when the wind shook - he never felt it. He went back to his old self were he couldn't feel much of anything, at least anything on the outside. And i think it was because in him somewhere, he was afraid of it all. And i could hear it's burning cry every time he passed. His secrets poured from his flesh - oozed like a disease from his pores. We saw it all. And we all knew his days were numbered. They withered away in the palm of his hands, and in this time he had tried to wayne himself off of "love" … off of "feeling"- but to no avail. It was carved too deep, too firmly and too intricately in him to just erase. And so he was afraid….

It's simple really, _Toys_ like that only work for a little while anyways. Only time could tell when that curse of their's would rear it ugly head again. And he will hunger again. And nothing will satisfy him. nothing...

What then Shenji? Can he really be all you think he is? … When he ends up killing her, sucking her dry with need, and killing her. And still then, nothing will appease the curse! What then Shenji?! Will he still be your hero? No - her death will make us equal… Her death will put an end to all of this, and mark the begging of everything.

I put _it_ back into the small wooden jewelry box I had set out on my desk all those years ago. Rolling the key between my trembling fingers, it clicked shut, and the key fell lifelessly back onto my chest; hanging from its chain. Whispers began to echo from the now empty key hole, but i was too tired for them tonight. The box was pushed back against the wall, and i began to gather everything up in my head for the night. Slipping in to the sheets, no, not tonight.

Too much, it was all too much for me tonight. So i feel asleep thinking - just what exactly_ it_ was he was planning… Our Aizen.

* * *

Narrator's Point of ViewxX?

"I just don't get it!" He hissed from his knees as a bloody lip began to ripen nicely on his tan figure. Though it was quickly engulfed in shadows, it didn't make much of a difference. His head dropped to his chest. "What…what was the point of it all?", and as if it had taken his everything just to get the words out of his mouth, just to speak, his presence seemed to become cripple under the pressure of _his_ demands. His head hung from his neck, as if his neck was the only thing keeping it from rolling across the floor. "What was the f*cking point?!"

"Now, now, Grimmjow. Don't tell me your breaking already?" His grin, his eyes, everything about him -

"Like h*ll!" jarringly, his head lurched out in defiance. Blue eyes flickered in the light and a smile parted sullenly across his face. Grimmjow Jaggerjaques was not weak. Even if he _was_ slowly breaking. He was not week, and when silky hand came out to pull his head around; he let it. He squirmed from the pain, but he let it take a hold and pull him up into the lap of the one person he hated most. Because he was not weak, and Aizen ran a long finger across his lip, and smiled.

"You don't seem to me, like you're in a possession to fight Grimmjow-kun." The man let out a low growl between Aizen's clinched fist, but said nothing. He could feel Aizen's knee brushing against his neck. As if he were to swallow and allow the two to meet, and finally touch, he would instantly become infected, so instead he let the spit in his mouth run down the back of his throat. Aizen's leg against his chest, the fabric of his pants against his arms. Aizen's hands, Aizen's smile…. Aizen's eyes running down his back, joined by those filthy hands.

Those cold lips gliding across the surface of his flesh, across the shell of his inner ear, made him tremble. His hips pressed against the floor because he didn't have any strength in his legs to keep his back up, so it sagged forward pulling his waist to the ground and pushing his chest out between his arms. His neck propped between his shoulder blades. His hands numbly placed on the tile floor, to the point where every part of him was delicately balanced on top of one another, and any little movement would bring him crashing down.

"You've been a very good boy for me Grimmjow,…" His voice rumbled from somewhere deep inside, "… and I know this must be hard but just remember this is where you belong. Look at yourself, you're trembling at my feet like a pathetic dog. _That_ world has made you weak…. You're growing weak."

And he began to run his fingers through Grimmjow's hair like he really was a dog. "What happened to the wolf I raised, hmm?" And with that some sick, twisting feeling wrenched at Grimmjow's stomach as he wondered the same thing. He was a fighter, a killer. A cold blooded murderer, and something began to rise up inside him. Ashamed. Angry. A hunger - as if he needed to bathe in the blood of another.

"That's a good boy," and the grasp constricted around his jaw "… now go and bring her to me just the way you find her - dead or alive it doesn't matter." A warm chuckle pierced the air, and Aizen wet his lips again. A smile pulling at his mouth.

"Who knows… Ichigo might have already done the work for you…. Grimmjow."

* * *

sorry, I didn't know where the plot was going 3 chapters ago... soooo yeah.


	12. What was the point (2)

Unkown point of ViewxX

I had found her half dead but I couldn't think... I had to find him.

* * *

Ichigo's Point of ViewxX

His hand went right through me, as if i were nothing but air and i realized I wasn't going to win this one. There was no chance I could win this one.

My chest felt heavy like a cavity was filling with blood and the world tilted tilted around him. Black eyes that dances around in the darkness. And the clearing of trees moved with every breath i took.

I could feel his laugh vertebrate through my body. His arm pulled back and he through my body forward. I slid off his arm with a thud to the ground. There was nothing that I could do. My insides burned. Everything burned. Darkness dipped in and out. It was too hard just to keep my head up. Darker, darker, everything getting darker.

"You see… they're not even worth it." I could hear the gravel under his feet creak in the dirt as he shirted his weight. Wiped the blood of his hands into a rag from his pocket. "He's powerless, and exhausted. If you left him now, his death would only be drawn out…. isn't that right? - Grimmjow?"

Just his name made my throat close up, I couldn't breath. If my chest hurt before, I couldn't remember it. But it hurt so bad, with a different pain. A good pain. _Yeah, _he said. His voice.

"I can trust you to finish up then?" I could feel his smile, but Grimmjow…. I couldn't see him like i did Aizen. And my heart pulled in all directions because I didn't know. I just could barely even feel his presence and the thought of him smiling …. grinning like Aizen made my chest heavy. But I couldn't run away from it. It was getting quieter - I guess I'll never know.

His face in the window ceil that knight. The way the moon hit, and light up half of his face. The glint when he smiled, and I couldn't help remembering how I couldn't take my eyes off him.

"I'll do it." _Is that so, Grimmjow... Is that so?_

"Good," his words rung though the air, "Very good. _They'll _be here shortly, so make it quick." I pictured him taking a hold of Grimmjow's arm. I pictured the way they were standing there. Aizen, eyes glowing, looking at Grimmjow. But I still couldn't picture Grimm's face. Yet, in my memories it's so clear it's almost real. And I feel alone.

"I'll leave you to alone then."

* * *

Grimmjow's Point of ViewxX

"He's going to die, one way or another…" His voice brushes past me. His back is towards Ichigo, but I can't tare my eyes off him.

Aizen knows. He's always known - about him. About us. I just never knew how much.

"Don't make a mistake while you're saying good bye." He squeezes my arm back so I'll look at him. Eyes sparkle red and he looks into mine. "Grimmjow… I'll be waiting."

That smile. I've always hated that smile. His figure quickly blurred amongst the trees, his presence wilting along with it. My eyes slowly find their place back on Kurosake, but my feet are heavy. I want to look around, because for some reason seeing him like that makes me fidget. So I waited… and waited. Till somehow i was hovering over him - and he was dying.

I already felt alone, and he wasn't even dead yet. This is why…. this is why…..

"Ichigo…" my voice crawled back into my throat as I said it and I nelt by him. He hadn't moved from where Aizen had thrown him earlier. He smelt of blood - his blood. Blood that was poring out onto the grass and making a puddle around him. _He really was pathetic -_

but I wouldn't have done any better. I guess that's why I liked him. Why I couldn't take my eyes off him. It scared me - to see him and know i was weak. But I didn't hate it. It was one of the few things I didn't hate, and I pulled his lifeless body into my arms and cradled him there. "…you're f*cking weak." I held him closer. My my arms becoming slick with blood. So much blood. Pulling us apart, it was easy to see his chest wasn't clotting. It just kept pouring out of him and I couldn't make it stop.

There was nothing I could do. I was hesitant to touch the gapping whole and do more damage, so I sat there watching him die. Helplessly. Aizen had been right. He was always right. I'd made a mistake. This was all a mistake.

This was wrong. From the ver beginning, we were wrong. We were all wrong.

But it felt so right.

* * *

"You know my boy's always been like that. Bull headed." I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. There was a presence that blotted out all others, and separated us from the rest of the world.

I wanted to die. The shame, holding his dead son. Knowing that it was all my fault. Pathetic - I was pathetic and my body shook. Ichigo bouncing around in my arms because I couldn't get control of myself. "Always a fighter, really." I was _the fighter. _I was the _killer. _It was the last thing I wanted to hear. His voice was to calm, it was disconcerting. _A fighter. He was a fighter._

I was a killer. A cold blooded murderer, and I'd killed him. Me. I'd killed him. What's wrong with me? - because he knew that? He knew I'd killed him. As he knelt down beside his son, beside me, and reached into the cavity Aizen had left in Ichigo's chest. I wanted to throw up. "You see, nothing to it." Hand's covered in blood - his son's blood. My hands open up for it and he drops it in them - and it burns.

The smell of burning flesh quickly mixes with the scent of his blood. I couldn't tell if he hated me. He probably did. He probably hated me, but my arms weren't planning on giving up his son. Not yet, they couldn't. So i just held it in my hand, held him in my arms - knowing it was nothing compared to what I should have been feeling. And what i _should _have been feeling was nothing.

But I couldn't bring myself to feel nothing.

I couldn't bring myself to do anything - not even look at him. His shadow fell on Ichigo and made him look dead. "I- i…it's not my. fault." I pulled him closer - tighter. "I swear, it's not." …_what was the point?_

_The voice in my head began to vanish..._

The image beside me was gone...

The light shifted, and the wind wracked the branches above our heads.

and it was just me and Ichigo...

It had always just been me and Ichigo.

And I looked down. My hands were covered in his blood, and I wondered if I'd done it. In my hands - but I dropped it. It was nothing I could remember. I can't even remember holding anything except him and I held him closer. My hands burned, and I knew it was from touching him - his dead body. Not even in death was I was allowed to forget…. forget, sh*t - my hands blistered where I held them against his sinking body. I couldn't keep him upright. Locking him in my arms, his chest finally stating to cake over in blood against my wet t-shirt. Rocking him back and forth, quieting myself. I was loosing it. I wasn't a fighter ... not anymore.

I was sick. A mistake. This was all a mistake. Just a mistake. I should never of-

"Grimm, " His hand comes up, and i snatch at. Held it close, g-wd I was losing it.

"Shut up." _Don't talk. _He looked pathetic in my arms, blood caked in his hair. My hand prints had been drug across his face, dirt and blood, where i had tried keep his head from falling back.

* * *

Narrato Point of ViewxX

"Just shut up." he spit hoarsely. Looking around as if someone was there... to watch him make his last mistake. He brought the limp head to his neck, "Just shut up, ok?"

"It's gonna be ok. It's all gonna be ok…", he whimpered, leaning further and further over Ichigo's body.

It was just a mistake.

It was all just a big mistake - but he did it anyway.

* * *

Narrator Point of ViewxX

His back fell away from the old oak and he turned to the lengthy man who had stooped down to pick up the silver necklace with the end of his cane. "Guess you could say - I still have it, huh? Kiskue?"

He watched as the other man pulled his hat back down over his eyes, "But letting them run off like that…"

Holding out his hand, Kiskue dropped the silver necklace into it. Doing his best to wipe the blood from the small cross with his thumb - and they both looked at it and knew. "He's my boy isn't he?", scoffing, he pushing the chain further into his pocket. "And besides, it was only his first encounter."

"Ishinn" Kiskue hissed, "It better be…. for your sake - It better be."


End file.
